Top critical review
3.0 out of 5 starsUseful in parts, but not groundbreaking
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 31 July 2014
I'm reviewing this book as a "survivor" of several, yes several, psychopathic relationships. The last one almost destroyed me completely and I have been dealing with the fallout for the last few years.
This brings me to my first criticism of this book. The author should not put a time limit on recovery from such a relationship, he states that it may take as long as a year! It is impossible and misleading to judge how long it takes until you have recovered. It may take several years if not a lifetime. Think about childhood abuse and the lives that are wrecked even with so-called therapy. Many victims of psychopaths have already been traumatised in other ways, many from childhood, so that they are vulnerable to psychopaths. It is a long journey for many survivors who are suffering complex PTSD. Anyone reading that it will take a year before normality kicks in will feel guilty and even responsible for their lack of progress. If you are in that highly vulnerable position this could be an enormous setback.
Another criticism is that although the author admits that he has an affiliation with the website psychopathfree he is very careful not to include the name of Thomas Sheridan, one of the founders of that website, in a listing of possible books to read. There was a falling out between the admins and Thomas Sheridan and Sheridan walked away. It seems rather churlish of the author not to acknowledge Sheridan and his popular works on psychopathy, however much you may have a personal disagreement with Sheridan. Sheridan has made the issue of psychopathy more accessible to a wider public, I don't agree with everything that Sheridan says, nor do I agree with everything this author says, but the ommission of any mention of Sheridan points to a rather petty attitude which detracts somewhat from this book.
One's personal journey through the ravages of a relationship with a psychopath and coping with the inevitable end is undeniably different for everyone, but there are similarities and that is where this book is useful. Some effects are mentioned which will resonate with the reader, and others that are mentioned which will not be applicable. The author is describing their own experience so this has to be borne in mind.
There are some helpful bits of advice but recovering from abuse is a complex matter and cannot be dealt with in a small book like this. The author admits that he had an astounding therapist who helped him recover more quickly, but this option is not available to the majority of us, and may make us feel even more depressed!!
Useful in parts.