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Emma Rose Byham
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Was It Even Abuse?: Restoring clarity after covert abuse. Kindle Edition

by Emma Rose Byham (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
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Have you endlessly searched online trying to make sense of their behaviour? Hoping to understand how they treat you. ‘Is it normal?’ ‘Why does it hurt so much?’ Or perhaps you feel conflicted because you think their behaviour is unacceptable, but you question your judgement. You ask yourself,

‘Is it me?’
‘Am I too sensitive?’
‘Am I crazy?’

Was It Even Abuse? was written by Emma Rose Byham, founder of The Personal Growth Project and Instagram community (@thepersonalgrowth.project) to support you in working through the chronic confusion and self-doubt experienced after emotional and psychological abuse. This book explores:
  • The answers to key questions that create confusion
  • How minor incidents can be significantly abusive
  • Identifying abusive behaviour, trauma responses and the abusive dynamic
  • Reducing conflict between the potential and reality of the relationship
  • Reframing core beliefs about relationships and love

Emma helps you to restore clarity by breaking down a complex topic, supporting you to stop doubting what you’ve experienced, facilitate self-compassion for how you’ve been affected, reduce the inner conflict of who you understand them to be, and shift focus onto personal growth and building healthy relationships.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Emma founded The Personal Growth Project in 2017 to support the growth of survivors of emotional and psychological abuse, through her writing and her mentoring. She has established a large online community, and her social media posts have become a source of providing clarity. Her gift is to put into words an experience that is often hard to describe.

Emma’s background is working with young people who have experienced abuse, to help them recognise healthy and unhealthy bonds in their relationships, and to help them gain confidence and clarity. Emma has since studied Counselling and will complete her Psychology degree in 2023. She trained in integrative therapeutic counselling, combining person-centered, psychodynamic and CBT methods. She has in-depth knowledge of the experiences of abuse which has been gained through attending courses, first person accounts, self-teaching and personal experience.
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  1. Print length
    263 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    15 Sept. 2022
  5. File size
    7974 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
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  8. Enhanced typesetting
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  9. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5
309 global ratings
Finally - An all in one book
5 out of 5 stars
Finally - An all in one book
Do not be put off by the plain cover of this book or because the title doesn't scream Narcisist or Gaslighting to you or because the Author isn't an internationally known Psychiatrist.I've only started reading this after buying nine others and I already know this is the one I was looking for. I am a victim of Narcisstic abuse and manipulation from a sibling. This book relates more to close partner abuse but I can identify with almost all the subject matter.Just get this one.Well done to the Author.
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Top reviews from United Kingdom

tamsin64
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 July 2024
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I have read so many books about narcissistic abuse trying to understand what went on in my marriage. This book is in a different league to any other I have read in its clarity and in how much validation and self compassion I noticed myself feeling as I read it- no other book has done that. Finally someone has helped me believe that I really wasn’t crazy and that it was all about him. I am so grateful for this book. I have felt so much confusion but now I have the starting points to finally understand what happened to me- seven years after he left…
One person found this helpful
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5.0 out of 5 stars To the point
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 June 2024
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I have read many books about narcissistic personality disorder but this book talks specifically at covert narcissists. In my opinion a fantastic book to read. Totally validates my experience but best of all, it answered every single niggle that I had about my feelings and the questions I was asking myself about my behaviour and why am I behaving and thinking the way I do. The author helps you to separate truth from fiction (crazy making, gaslighting etc). Excellent book if you are on your journey to healing. Easy to read, full of helpful techniques and to the point. I especially like her advice about seeing the narcissist as a whole and not as good part and bad part because it only makes the trauma bonding and other difficulties you encounter worse. This is a big part of the book that has helped me considerably.
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fragrens
5.0 out of 5 stars exceptional... take a deep breath before reading.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 October 2023
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im only so way through this book but so far its exceptional. iv read so many books in an attempt to clean my psyche of abuse but this is something else !
Its so amazingly accurate that i needed to keep taking deep breaths and breaks whilst reading. it has a depth that so far iv not encountered in any book/ video.
if you are trying to recover from any form of emotional or psychological abuse do yourself a favour and buy this book. other sources out there are good but this has an understanding of covert abuse that i have not previously had explanations for. The whole nightmare of covert abuse is that its so subtle that its hard to pinpoint, which of course explains the title, but after reading this book the mists that have still remained are disappearing . its hidden , its subtle but heres the key takeaway so far...cumalative. its operating at a level consistently where you honestly dont know what is going on. i cannot recommend this book more highly.
6 people found this helpful
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Anne Riddick
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 12 March 2024
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This book is extremely validating. It helps give understanding and clarity to all the mixed messages and messed up emotions that happened to me in and after I left an abusive situationship. I don't call it a relationship anymore as it is empowering for me to live in my truth of the situation I found myself in unknowingly.
3 people found this helpful
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PixieCat
5.0 out of 5 stars It's like the author was a fly on my wall!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 December 2023
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When I started reading this book I had begun my recovery journey with therapy. But I felt that in-between sessions I needed more information on what I had been through. And more support. I stumbled across this book, and it's been life-changing. I thought I'd recognise things here and there - but it is as if the author was a fly on my wall for the past 3 years. This book is about my relationship, my experiences, my thoughts and my struggles. And now - my recovery. I can't put it away. A must-read for anyone who has found themselves in a toxic relationship, suspecting they've been emotionally abused. This is your way out of the confusion!
6 people found this helpful
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Kevin
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally - An all in one book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 November 2023
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Do not be put off by the plain cover of this book or because the title doesn't scream Narcisist or Gaslighting to you or because the Author isn't an internationally known Psychiatrist.
I've only started reading this after buying nine others and I already know this is the one I was looking for.
I am a victim of Narcisstic abuse and manipulation from a sibling. This book relates more to close partner abuse but I can identify with almost all the subject matter.
Just get this one.
Well done to the Author.
Customer image
Kevin
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally - An all in one book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 November 2023
Do not be put off by the plain cover of this book or because the title doesn't scream Narcisist or Gaslighting to you or because the Author isn't an internationally known Psychiatrist.
I've only started reading this after buying nine others and I already know this is the one I was looking for.
I am a victim of Narcisstic abuse and manipulation from a sibling. This book relates more to close partner abuse but I can identify with almost all the subject matter.
Just get this one.
Well done to the Author.
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6 people found this helpful
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Penny Harvey
5.0 out of 5 stars validation!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 December 2023
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If you think you are over-reacting because there is no physical abuse - read this.
Gives you a few insights into yourself as well as validating that you are not a complete nutcase and the behavior you have been subjected to is not normal behavior . Although written by a woman and I am one of those - this is equally very very useful if you are male and confused about if you are in an abusive relationship.

Worth it without a doubt
4 people found this helpful
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ketty
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 January 2024
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Brilliant book. So in depth and so accurate to how I'm feeling. I strongly recommend to anyone who feels they were in a mentally abusive relationship or manipulated 10/10
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Aura
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
Reviewed in Canada on 11 April 2024
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I'm about a quarter of the way through the book, and I find it very helpful in discerning how bad the abuse (both given and received) is in my past relationship. I went into the book looking to see if the relationship was salvageable, and it's helping me figure that out.
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Jen
5.0 out of 5 stars Really Hit Home
Reviewed in the United States on 8 April 2024
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A very well-written book that I was able to resonate with. For anyone who has suffered emotional abuse or a toxic relationship and is still feeling pain and trying to heal - this book is a suggested read. It helped to put things into perspective and to feel heard/validated. Well written, and easy to read.
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Tepina
5.0 out of 5 stars Miglior libro letto sul tema
Reviewed in Italy on 9 October 2023
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È dal 2016 che leggo libri a riguardo.
Questo è diventato il mio preferito.
La delicatezza con cui la scrittrice si esprime, l'empatia, la gentilezza, è qualcosa che consola.
Un libro che aiuta per davvero.
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Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening
Reviewed in France on 12 August 2022
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Thank you so much for this
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Danni
5.0 out of 5 stars A must have got survivors or those in abusive relationships.
Reviewed in Australia on 8 June 2024
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The comparison between the lived experience of the character Sophie was very validating and made me feel seen. It was very reassuring to understand that what I had experienced at the hands of my ex was indeed abuse & I wasn't "crazy" - what I now know is a known insult that the abuser uses, to undermine your self worth and gaslight you into imagining their behaviour as normal when it's not.
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