This is an opinion column.
As we enter this phase of July, it’s time to rank things. That’s what we do in college football.
Give us a group of anything, and we’ll put them in a line based on how we’re feeling that day. In honor of SEC Media Days kicking off next week in Dallas, let’s rank the 16 league coaches.
Here’s one more paragraph because it always looks better to have three before getting to the business, even though everyone just skips the text before the rankings. Cheers to you if you read this.
The most interesting SEC Media Days coaches
16. Josh Heupel, Tennessee
Somebody had to be last and the coach most commonly associated with Bobby Hill (prince to a propane empire) lands here.
15. Jeff Lebby, Mississippi State
New guy. First-time head coach. Not much tape. Follows one-and-done Zach Arnett who followed microphone legend Mike Leach.
14. Billy Napier, Florida
Actually, one of the most down-to-earth of the SEC coaches, there’s not a ton for Napier to say. The Gators face one of the scariest of league schedules coming off another lackluster season and he’s a named defendant in a high-profile NIL lawsuit brought by a former signee.
13. Kalen DeBoer, Alabama
Another newcomer, DeBoer is one of four SEC coaches who has led a team into a playoff game. There’s a suburban dad-next-door quality to Nick Saban’s successor and ranks highly on the down-to-earth scale along with Napier. But when you follow a headliner like Saban was for more than a decade, it’s hard to crack the top-10 in Year 1.
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12. Brent Venables, Oklahoma
The boss for No. 15 Lebby the last two years (when he was the Sooners’ offensive coordinator), Venables was a defensive coordinator under Dabo Swinney from 2012-21.
11. Mike Elko, Texas A&M
Newcomer No. 4 replaces Jimbo Fisher, and he gets a few points for his clear use of the English language spoken at a relatable speed. He brought some passion to his media session at SEC spring meetings so props for that.
10. Shane Beamer, South Carolina
Was once dunked by a bucket of mayonnaise after winning a bowl game.
9. Hugh Freeze, Auburn
Outranks Alabama’s DeBoer.
8. Kirby Smart, Georgia
Gets points for being the best active coach in the sport and has many of the same attributes (and talking points) as Saban. Just not as charismatic at the microphone but he can coach some ball.
7. Brian Kelly, LSU
In the lineage of Saban, Les Miles and Ed Orgeron, Kelly and his authentic Southern accent is fourth, but he cracks the top half of this current SEC ranking. Is probably fun at a party.
6. Clark Lea, Vanderbilt
Probably as high as you’ll ever see Vanderbilt in an SEC football ranking. Lea has always been an interesting interview and brings intelligent thought to the conversation with a unique perspective on coaching in the modern world of college football. He’ll be missed sometime soon at SEC Media Days.
5. Lane Kiffin, Ole Miss
Lane is No. 5.
4. Mark Stoops, Kentucky
After Saban’s retirement, Stoops is now the longest-tenured SEC head coach (2013-pres.). He’s also a good quote who brings a Stoops-level energy when he meets with the press. Also fits the Brian-Kelly-fun-at-the-party mold.
3. Eli Drinkwitz, Missouri
Even though he shut down my question about artificial intelligence at last year’s media days, Drinkwitz brings an interesting energy to the podium. There’s a degree of goofy nerdiness that separates him from the pack. But if he shuts me down again, to No. 16 he’ll go.
2. Sam Pittman, Arkansas
There’s something genuine about the folksy nature of Pittman’s delivery. He’s in his fifth year as head coach but came to power through coaching the offensive line instead of a high-profile coordinator springboard. Let’s hope he doesn’t get media days coaching from his new offensive coordinator because Bobby Petrino was on the opposite end of the Brian Kelly/Mark Stoops fun-at-the-party ranking.
1. Steve Sarkisian, Texas
So, what if we’re probably over-rating Texas in everything now that they’re back? Sarkisian’s a coach with significant life experience who has always been interesting in conversation. He’s been to the top, the bottom and climbed all the way back (if not higher) than where he was as the USC head coach. Sarkisian has an energy and mind that’s building Texas’ roster on the recruiting trail and scheming Xs and Os. Of all 16 of the SEC coaches, he’d be the most intriguing dinner-party guest. Using all those criteria, Sarkisian is No. 1.
Tune in next week to see how poorly this prediction goes.
Michael Casagrande is a reporter for the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter @ByCasagrande or on Facebook.