LGBTQ+ advocate talks new book, coming out, and religious trauma

TAMPA, Fla. — Dr. Sara Glass grew up in a very strict Hasidic community and struggled with her identity.

“I think that everybody lives in some kind of closet. We all have things about us that we think are unacceptable. We think that if we speak those truths, we'll lose relationships. We'll lose influence,” said Dr. Sara Glass, an author, therapist, and advocate.

At 19 years old, Sara had an arranged marriage and said she had no control over her own body.

“Everything that I had to do with my body was prescribed by law or by rabbis. And so, I was told when to have sex, how often, what positions to be in, when to use birth control, which was rarely,” explained Sara.

She felt even more stuck in that ultra-Orthodox world because she knew in her heart she was gay.

“It took me about 20 years to really come to terms with the fact that I was a lesbian, from the first moment I fell in love with a girl until like the coming out process occurred. That was almost two decades,” explained Sara.

In her new book, “Kissing Girls on Shabbat,” Sara reveals how she lived in fear for years, even thinking she’d lose custody of her children.

“I was raised to believe that if you were not straight, not cisgender, not married, then you were in severe danger, possibly ending up in hell, which sounded very scary to me,” said Sara.

She continued, “Because I was raised in a community that was so strict, what happens is when someone tries to leave, they can all band together and hire the legal team that they would need in order to take people's children and keep them within the enclaves.”

But after her sister died by suicide, she knew she had to do something.

“It just made me realize that life is short. I just realized, you know, I might not have forever. None of us know how long we have. And I just didn't want to live a lie anymore,” explained Sara.

So, she went back to school and took control of her life.

“I waited until they were in middle school before I attempted to leave the community. And that was at that point, I was able to get my Ph.D. and hire the team of attorneys that it required to strategize for our exit and for the children to come with me,” said Sara.

Now living her own truth, Sara shares this advice for those still struggling to come out.

“The message is just to see the thing about yourself that you're afraid to say out loud and just say it to yourself, inside your own heart, because that matters. And that's the first step,” said Sara.

You can learn more about Sara’s journey and her bookhere.