Romance Scams

A romance scam occurs when a criminal creates a fake online identity and uses it to gain the affection and trust of a victim. In romance scams, also called confidence scams, the criminal deceives a victim into believing they have a trusted relationship and then uses the relationship to persuade the victim to give money, personal and financial information, or items of value to the scammer.

The number of complaints about romance scams received by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) increased from 11,235 in 2016 to almost 56,000 in 2021. FTC data show a record high in reported losses of $547 million in 2021, a nearly 80% increase from 2020. Officials at the FTC believe these figures only capture a small portion of losses suffered by consumers because most frauds are not reported.

While many romance scams begin on online dating sites, a significant number of reported frauds start with a direct message received on Facebook or Instagram. Scam artists often assume the identity of deployed military personnel, or they may claim to be engaged in building and construction projects outside the U.S. Regardless of the role they choose to play, these scammers are willing to invest months building trust with a victim before sharing information about an emergency, a sick relative, or a financial or legal crisis and conning the victim into transferring money to them.

The criminals who perpetrate romance scams are accomplished con artists. They will seem genuine, caring and believable. Unfortunately, they are working from a script and are adept at manipulating the emotions and actions of their victims. They may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person, but that will never happen. There will always be a reason why they can’t video chat, but the one certainty is that they will eventually ask for money (gift cards, wire transfers, cash, etc.), bank account information, or other personally identifying information.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations recommends the following tips for avoiding romance scams:

• Be careful what you post and make public online. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
• Research the person’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the image, name or details have been used elsewhere.
• Go slowly and ask lots of questions.
• Beware if the individual seems too perfect or quickly asks you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly.
• Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from friends and family or requests inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you.
• Beware if the individual promises to meet in person but then always comes up with an excuse why he or she can’t. If you haven’t met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious.
• Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone.

If you suspect a romance scam:

• Stop communicating with the person immediately.
• Talk to someone you trust and pay attention if your friends or family say they are concerned about your safety.
• Conduct an online search for the type of job the person told you they have to see if other people have heard similar stories. For example, search for “oil rig scammer” or "U.S. Army scammer.”
• Contact your bank and credit card companies if you have shared account information.