The longest sexual relationship any of us will ever have is with ourselves. And this liaison is all benefits, no drawbacks: It’s a sure thing, happens on your schedule and yours alone, an orgasm is pretty much guaranteed every time, and no one will ghost you afterwards. So we decided to pay tribute to it with our Love Yourself package. Why not go and love yourself right now?

Maybe you’ve been in the market for the latest, greatest vibrator ever since Miranda introduced the world to “The Rabbit” on Sex and the City. Or maybe you’ve never so much as typed the letters “vib…” into a search bar. Either way, the market for vibrators is vast—and one woman’s five-star review is another’s five minutes of fruitless fumbling.

“Everybody and every body is different,” says Kat Kova, a psychotherapist who specializes in sex therapy. “There is no ‘one size fits all’ sex toy.” Her clients, for example, report a wide variety of sensations (and speeds) they find most stimulating when self-pleasuring. “Some prefer a heavy-duty vibrator, starting heavy or sometimes starting light and building speed. Some prefer lighter, gentler touches, or maybe teasing. Some like the feeling of sharp spikes, like their genitalia was a volleyball in the last game of a tournament.” Just like sexuality, it’s a spectrum.

The good news? There’s a vibrator for however you get your rocks off, which is why we’ve enlisted Kova, and another expert, intimacy coach Joslyn Nerdahl, to give us their expert recommendations on the, uh, buzziest and best vibrators out there.

 

LeloLelo PicoBong Ipo 2, $88, lelo.com
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The best vibrator for a first-timer

If you’re new to vibrator use—especially if you are shy about self-pleasuring in general—Kova recommends a slow, gentle approach that’s all about experimentation. “For people with vulvas, I’d recommend two toys for starters: one that has a number of sensations and speeds for exploring the external vulva, which includes the lips and clitoris, and an insertive toy, like a dildo.” (Water-based lube is key here, too, she says.) Nerdhal often recommends the Pico Bong Ipo 2 finger vibe from Lelo, which straps onto your finger. “These little toys can be a less intimidating transition from manual stimulation to vibration, but don’t be fooled by their size,” she says. “They can still pack a powerful vibrational punch.” Take your time, and learn what you like.

 

LoveHoneyWomanizer Starlet 2, $99, womanizer.com
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The best vibrator for clitoral stimulation

“The only function of the clitoris is pleasure,” says Nerdahl, noting it has a whopping 8,000 nerve endings. “If you’re not taking advantage of it, I can guarantee you’re missing out.” Nerdahl’s favourite device for pressing what she calls “the magic button” is The Womanizer (Kova also recommends it). “It simulates a sucking motion, and is extremely effective at stimulating the head of the clit,” says Nerdahl. Pro-tip: If you’re going for an orgasm via penetrative sex or g-spot stimulation, Nerdahl suggest you “pre-heat the oven” by using a vibrator to have two or three clitoral orgasms ahead of time. “Because the g-spot engorges with arousal, this can increase the pleasure of intercourse and increase sensitivity of the g-spot, making climax from penetration more achievable.”

 

WeVibeWeVibe Sync, $219, we-vibe.com
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The best vibrator for use with a partner

Before you buy anything new, Kova suggests you start with the vibe that you already love, if you have one, and incorporate it into partner play. “Call me insensitive, but your pleasure is more important than protecting your partner’s ego,” she adds. 

If you want to go the “hands-free” route with someone else, Nerdahl has had success with the WeVibe Sync, which is specifically designed for use during partnered sex. “This unique U-shaped toy vibrates at different pulses and intensities at both ends,” she explains. “It stimulates both the external clitoral glans and the internal g-spot while also giving pleasurable vibrations to the penis while it is inserted.” She notes that it also has remote controls and bluetooth capability, which offer endless escapade possibilities.

 

The SybianThe Sybian, $1,595, sybian.com
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The best vibrator if you want *all* the bells and whistles

If we’re talking Holy Grail, Nerdahl points to what she calls “the Cadillac” of vibrators. “The Sybian is the most powerful vibrator on the planet and comes as a stand-alone seat with 17 different attachments to choose from.” It’s often a centrepiece at play parties, she says, but what she loves about it is how finely you can calibrate it to your precise preferences. “The variation of speeds and vibrations can be so minutely adjusted, and it literally starts at zero when it’s turned on,” she says, “You can very accurately find whichever setting you prefer without getting overwhelmed.”

 

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