lauren chan swports illustrated
James Macari/Sports Illustrated

Lauren Chan Is the First Queer Plus-Size Sports Illustrated Rookie

The Canadian model on divorce, coming out and the beauty of new beginnings

“Something just came over me,” says Lauren Chan. It was October of last year and the model was sitting on a couch, filming a casting video her agency had asked her for. “I was just going to say my usual spiel of ‘Hi, I’m Lauren Chan and I’m a model and a fashion editor and a clothing brand founder. And I care deeply about body positivity and making fashion an equal place for folks of all sizes, et cetera, et cetera.”

But in that moment, all by herself, staring into the camera, the Brantford, Ont.-native felt compelled to lay bare her truth. Over the past few months, Chan had been experiencing a lot of change in her life. She’d privately come out to a few close friends and family members and was in the process of getting a divorce. Most people, her agents included, had no idea. “I didn’t know how to feel about it because I was presenting myself with this completely new narrative for the first time,” she says.

But she felt safe opening up in that casting video largely because it was meant for a magazine she’d long admired. “I think because Sports illustrated Swimsuit has always championed their talent for much more than what they look like and achieve and instead for who they are, I felt called to do that.”

 

 
 
 
 
 
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Two months later, she was invited to a callback casting with some of the execs, this time over Zoom. When she signed on, editor-in-chief M.J. Day announced she’d booked the gig. “She said as soon as she saw the tape, she wanted me to be a part of the 2023 issue. I probably cried—I’ve cried a lot in the past year. I was just overcome with emotion because I really felt like this was the place to declare the start of my new chapter.”

Starting this next season of life, Chan, the first-ever queer plus-size Sports Illustrated Swimsuit rookie, finds herself having a lot to smile about these days. We caught up with the trailblazer on the eve of the big S.I. announcement to chat about living authentically, the state of body diversity in fashion and how to feel fabulous in a bikini.

First off, congratulations! You’re going to be announced as the newest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit rookie tomorrow. How are you feeling?

“It will feel real tomorrow. I tend to have anxiety when I know something is great and I just want to make it the best that it can possibly be. I’m trying to not let my excitement and preparation—or overpreparation—get to that space of anxiety. I’m trying to remind myself in these moments that I’ve prepared, I am who I am and there’s not that much to do or change. You just have to let it go with the flow.”

Not to be all like, ‘Let’s unpack here,’ but where do you think that anxiety comes from?

“Oh, I’m constantly unpacking these days! I think that a lot of my anxiety comes from the fact that I was raised by first-generation Chinese parents who really, really focused on achievement. And they did that because they were trying to parent in a way that they were parented, that basically solidified a comfortable, happy future for the child. Obviously, the world is different for me than it is for my parents and their parents. And so I think that that kind of pressure and guidance to always do well has turned into adult anxiety for me, especially when it comes to work. So I just have to be really careful to use that as motivation to get shit done and do a good job, but not be losing sleep and compromising my mental wellness.”

lauren chan sports illustrated
Photo: James Macari/Sports Illustrated

Well this is an amazing achievement. I’m curious to know what Sports Illustrated Swimsuit represented to you before you became a rookie?

“I’ve always loved Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, maybe a red flag [laughs]. But I’ve always looked to the issue as a symbol of modern womanhood. I’ve long been a fan of the talent that the institution has turned out and made into superstars. But I think that the most profound impact that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue had on myself and likely the culture, dare I say that, is when Ashley Graham was on the cover in 2016. Ashley is a fellow plus-size model and dear friend whom I have long admired for her work to make the fashion industry, the media, the world more size-inclusive and seeing Sports Illustrated Swimsuit do that really made me feel seen. It made me feel like they had the ability to open the world up to new viewpoints and to make all of their consumers more accepting of people who had previously been marginalized. We’ve seen them do that since with cover talent like Leyna Bloom, Yumi Nu, Maye Musk. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is so important because it has long been this institution of deeming what peak womanhood looks like. And by inserting the female gaze into their process [with editor-in-chief M.J. Day], I think that they genuinely have changed what the ideal woman looks like in Western culture. I think that we can absolutely see very clear evidence of that with those cover stars that I mentioned, for sure.”

For sure. What was the actual shoot like? Did you do anything special to prepare?

“We shot in early February in the Dominican Republic. I prepared by doing a lot of mental work. Actually, the other day someone said to me, ‘I’m excited to see your pictures’ and I went, ‘Oh my God, I forgot about the pictures,’ because I have been so focused since I learned that I was going to be doing this in late December on getting clear on my message and what I wanted to share, getting confident in who I am now and being able to show up prepared, joyful and like myself in a way that hopefully will lead the Sports Illustrated audience to connect with me. So all of my preparation was mental. I mean, I got a haircut and a spray tan [laughs], but I was very, very focused on showing up well and in mental game shape. This week, you’ll see an article [on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit’s website] about the podcasts, audio books and manifestations I used to prepare and an essay on my journey of getting divorced and coming out and landing in Sports Illustrated. I have been so deep in writing essays and doing interviews and doing therapy and preparing mentally for what the internet will say that I genuinely forgot the pictures.”

lauren chan sports illustrated
Photo: James Macari/Sports Illustrated

What do you see when you look at those pictures?

“I haven’t actually seen them yet! I did see a few on the monitor when I was shooting. When we were doing the first look on the beach, I went to look at the monitor just to understand how the light was hitting and how the swimsuit would look best, like I always do when I’m modeling because my job is to make the shot look great. And I immediately started welling up and I said to M.J., ‘Oh my God, I can’t look at that, I’m going to mess up my makeup.’ But the images that I did see brought me to that place emotionally because I just saw somebody who had been through all that I had been through that year and ended up on a beach in the Dominican Republic shooting the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. And I was proud of myself and I could tell that through the photos and yeah, it’s emotional even now [voice cracks]. So I’m excited to see the rest of them.”

You mentioned Ashley Graham earlier and I remember her sharing that a model had told her that she thought she was “too large” to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit. How far do you think we’ve come in regards to those narratives?

“I think that we’ve come a really long way in terms of unsubscribing to the the man-made beauty ideal that media and fashion have long put out that says that a woman is most valuable if she is thin, white, blonde, has curves in all the right places, is well put together, heterosexual, able, et cetera, et cetera. Look at the covers!”

lauren chan sports illustrated
Photo: James Macari/Sports Illustrated

There was some data published by Vogue business recently that showed there was very little plus-size representation on the runways this past fashion season, even less so than in previous years. Do you think we’re going backwards or do you see us moving in a positive direction?

“I think that there’s been a lot of fodder about a regression of size inclusion in fashion. Unfortunately, I don’t think that something as broad as the inclusion of different kinds of people in fashion is going to be linear. And that’s tough because any time we take a step backwards, it feels like such a huge L. Any time we lose footing, any time it’s not an improvement year over year, it feels painful, it feels panic-inducing. It makes us harken to times where we were not included at all. Look at the internet; it makes us outcry because we don’t want to go back there. Look at the current reaction to everything from the decrease in size inclusion at fashion month to Y2K style trending and therefore thinness trending again to the weight loss conversation in the medical realm. I think the cultural backlash to that is actually a good mark of us still being on a positive journey toward size inclusion. All those years ago when those things were happening, no one batted an eye. No one was standing up. There were not even the plus-size models we had this season on the runway. So I think that if the industry was testing us to see if it could regress, we collectively said ‘Fuck no.’ And there are institutions like Sports Illustrated Swimsuit continuing to push. There are designers like Christian Siriano continuing to push. There are public figures like Ashley Graham continuing to push. We’re not going anywhere.”

lauren chan sports illustrated
Photo: James Macari/Sports Illustrated

Absolutely. Speaking of which, it’s finally getting warmer, which means we’re starting to hear a lot of those tired “beach body” tropes. And even if someone has done the work and knows it’s all diet culture, it can still be a tough time to navigate. What are your tips for dealing with that?

“I hope that my experience on the Sports illustrated Swimsuit shoot and what I’ve shared with you today will hopefully inspire people to focus less on what they look like and more on their experiences. And if that applies to somebody who’s anxious about getting in a swimsuit for the first time this year and is a little body conscious to hit the beaches, I want them to focus less on how their swimsuit makes them look and more about who they’re going with and what they’re going to talk about and how much fun they’re going to have and what that experience will feel like rather than look like. There are some really exciting new Canadian size-inclusive swim lines available to shop: Roxy Earle’s collection at Joe Fresh just launched, Knix has a new swimwear line out, to name a few. I would suggest shopping at places that are super size-inclusive so that no matter what size you wear, you’re not feeling anxious about how the suit will fit. To tell you the truth, in this post-COVID world, I just can’t find a reason to have body image anxiety. We have been through so much and we have so much to celebrate on the other side of it. The fact that we’re going to get to be out socializing in swimsuits at pools, on rooftops, at the beach with people that we care about completely surmounts how we look in a swimsuit.”

What do you think is the biggest thing you’ve learned this past year with everything you’ve gone through and now sitting here today talking about this achievement? 

“The biggest things I’ve learned after a year of coming out, getting divorced, selling my company [ed. note: Chan’s luxury plus-size clothing line Henning was recently acquired by Universal Standard] and landing in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit are that it’s okay to start over; creating your most fulfilling life requires deep honesty about what your true self wants; and therapy helps with everything—go to therapy.”

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