President Biden’s son Hunter was convicted in federal court this week on charges related to purchasing a gun while addicted to drugs, a crime that 10 million Americans commit every minute. It makes him the first child of a sitting president to be convicted of a crime. But after many years of Republicans’ targeting Hunter Biden over both his personal and professional lives, the GOP’s reaction was muted—as if the party didn’t want the guilty verdict in the news at all. As Slate’s Molly Olmstead wrote this week, much of that was because of the sad reality of addiction that the trial laid out, as well as Republicans’ belief that there should be no gun laws. They also saw the Hunter Biden thing, however, as a diversion from the same president whom they believe to be simultaneously a dotard and a master of smoke and mirrors. Republicans argued that this trial was a means of distracting from the bigger malfeasance of the “Biden Crime Family” and a way to show that his Justice Department wasn’t targeting its scrutiny strictly on Donald Trump. Interesting stuff, but we’re just going to put it out there: The Surge does not think that Joe Biden put up his son for federal prosecution and a public airing of the family’s personal gossip as a countermessage for a political campaign.

The South Carolina sophomore, and the most baffling of the eight Republicans who voted to oust Speaker Kevin McCarthy last fall, was up for a primary this week in a race that was touted as the “first stop on Kevin McCarthy’s revenge tour.” It was thusly touted because groups with McCarthy ties had put money into the race, either against Mace or behind her main challenger, Catherine Templeton. But Mace’s future was about more than just her vote against McCarthy. It was about whether a now reliably red district wanted a member who had spent her two terms more concerned about getting press and promoting her brand than being a straightforward, head-down conservative. The answer was: a resounding yes! Mace won the primary with 57 percent of the vote against Templeton and a second challenger, Bill Young. Mace, in an interview with the New York Times ahead of election night, had said she wanted to “send [McCarthy] back to the rock he’s living under right now. He’s not part of America. He doesn’t know what hard-working Americans go through every single day. I hope I drive Kevin McCarthy crazy.” She likely does! The next stop on the Kevin McCarthy Revenge Tour comes Tuesday in Virginia, where Rep. Bob Good—chairman of the House Freedom Caucus—is up against state Sen. John McGuire. And the one thing the challenger will have in that race that Templeton didn’t have against Mace? Trump’s endorsement.

The former president returned to Capitol Hill on Thursday for the first time since trying to coup it a few years back. Everyone was so nice to him, so respectful. At a “pep rally” with House Republicans, his subjects sang “Happy Birthday” to him in anticipation of the big day, a kind gesture that Mr. Trump very much appreciated. They gave him a baseball—oh boy! He joked with Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was honored. “He was funny; he was joking around constantly with everyone; he was really sweet to me,” Greene told CNN afterward. “He saw me in there and he was like, ‘Hello, Marjorie.’ He's always so sweet.” And oh, how the senators adored him too. Wyoming Sen. John Barrasso brought him a delicious treat: a birthday cake, with candles in the numbers 45 and 47. The senators, too, sang “Happy Birthday,” and Mr. Trump was pleased. Even Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell was very nice—not rude, very respectful. It was a day to remember. The lucky boy was so exhausted he fell asleep in the back of the car on the way home, hugging his presents.

Trump’s Hill visit really did make it feel like any given Thursday in 2017—and again, probably (lol), in 2025—for the Surge. A visit to the Hill is billed as a visit to discuss policy and other serious matters of governance, and Trump just runs his mouth about whatever: Taylor Swift, how in another life he might’ve been “together” with Nancy Pelosi, and the “dirty bastards” at the DOJ. The item that got the most attention, though, as originally reported by Punchbowl News, was that he called Milwaukee—host to July’s Republican National Convention—a “horrible city.” Wisconsin Republicans in the room had different recollections of the context. Rep. Derrick Van Orden, an exceptionally angry man, said Trump had been referring to “the CRIME RATE” in Milwaukee. Rep. Glenn Grothman said Trump had been talking about “the election in Milwaukee” and “felt we need to do better in urban centers around the country.” Rep. Bryan Steil said Trump flatly hadn’t said it and that “there is no better place than Wisconsin in July.” What we want to know is: Why is Trump’s comment even a problem worth cleaning up? You know who else likes to trash Milwaukee? Republican voters in Wisconsin. It just happens to be where the sports arena with a big-enough capacity for a convention is located, within the swing state.

Our favorite Supreme Court flag WAG was back in the headlines this week for a secretly recorded conversation she had with Lauren Windsor, a liberal activist who’s emerged as a sort of James O’Keefe for the left. Windsor, posing as a Christian conservative at a dinner reception for the Supreme Court Historical Society, sparked a chat with Mrs. Alito. Among other things, she said, “I want a ‘Sacred Heart of Jesus’ flag, because I have to look across the lagoon at the Pride flag for the next month” and described how she fantasizes about certain flags. “I made a flag in my head,” she said. “This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag. It’s white and has yellow-and-orange flames around it. And in the middle is the word vergogna. Vergogna in Italian means shame—vergogna. V-E-R-G-O-G-N-A. Vergogna.” Vergogna? Vergogna! Anyway, on Friday Sam Alito joined the Supreme Court majority opinion to repeal a federal ban on bump stocks, legalizing the type of gun add-ons used in the 2017 Las Vegas shooting that killed 60 people. The Surge has forgotten why we are talking about Alito’s wife’s flag hobby, but we could talk about it with her all day. Shoot us an email, M-A.

Trump, pleased with his cakes, baseballs, and songs sung in his honor, was in a forgiving mood Thursday. He said that the disappointing 2022 midterms were neither Mitch McConnell’s fault nor his (they were, in fact, Trump’s fault) and “went out of his way several times” to praise McConnell, per the Hill. He did not call Utah Sen. Mitt Romney, who was in attendance at the Senate meeting, a ninny. He endorsed Florida Rep. Laurel Lee for reelection, despite her endorsement of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis in the presidential primary. But perhaps the most notable show of supposed congeniality was his announcement of support for Larry Hogan, the Republican candidate for Senate in Maryland. “I’d like to see him win,” Trump told Fox News. “I know other people made some strong statements, but I can just say, from my standpoint, I’m about the party and I’m about the country. And I would like to see him win.” Trump hates Hogan because Hogan has maintained his popular image in deep-blue Maryland by speaking out against Trump. And after Trump’s guilty verdict a couple of weeks ago, Trump campaign co-manager Chris LaCivita told Hogan “You just ended your campaign” after Hogan called on voters to “respect the verdict.” But is this show of support for Hogan entirely on the level? The Surge does believe that Trump would like to see another Republican vote in the Senate. But quasi-endorsing Hogan is, at best, not especially helpful to Hogan’s campaign. The Maryland Democratic Party is, and will continue to be, all over that quote. Hogan’s spokesperson immediately put distance between the two, saying, “Governor Hogan has been clear he is not supporting Donald Trump just as he didn’t in 2016 and 2020.”

Last week, we mentioned the confusion among House Republicans following Speaker Mike Johnson’s appointment of two known ding-dongs—Texas Rep. Ronny Jackson and Pennsylvania Rep. Scott Perry—to the Intelligence Committee, a supposedly serious panel. That confusion this week turned into righteous anger, with a particular focus on Perry, a former chairman of the Freedom Caucus. As one member told Politico, “No previous committee assignment has sparked as much internal anger as Johnson’s decision about Perry.” It’s not that Perry skipped in line ahead of other, less annoying members to earn the plum post. There’s also a concern that it rewards the bad behavior and threat-taking that’s the Freedom Caucus’ hallmark. Texas Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a vocal opponent of the caucus’ tactics, told Politico that “the speaker needs to remember that there isn't only one group that can threaten them” and added that Johnson should “not teach the lesson that the only way for us to be effective here is threatening, because I'll take the lesson and I'll do it.” Eh? Will you? It’s been pretty clear, oh, this entire Congress that threats are extremely effective in House GOP politics, and Crenshaw hasn’t done it yet. Maybe one day! Probably not!