This is One Thing, a column with tips on how to live.
It is entirely too easy to go from wanting something to having it show up on your doorstep. The place where we go to look at family photos is filled with not just targeted ads, but the ability to make a purchase without even leaving the app. A new skirt from a fast-fashion behemoth can cost just a few dollars. The brand I order my bras from pushes the option to subscribe to a recurring order of bras. It’s not even Prime Day yet (a truly made-up holiday) and Prime Day deals are already here, each for a “limited time,” of course.
All of this is designed to remove the decisionmaking from shopping, reducing the experience as much as possible to simple impulse. There is an easy solution: Unless you are experiencing a bodily emergency, don’t buy anything without thinking about it first. (“I am almost out of toilet paper” counts; “my socks make me look old” does not.)
Exercising control might be easier said than done—but it’s not all that hard to do. I have started keeping a list in the notes app of my phone of things I want, and then erasing them when I buy them or when I don’t feel the need/urge anymore.
And … that’s it. At first I figured I’d save shopping for the end of the month, and do one “trip” (haul of boxes from the internet), picking things off the list based on whatever money was left in my budget. So far, a couple of months in, I have not ended up doing this. It turns out putting just a bit of distance between the idea and the action curbs spending enough that it’s visible on my credit card statement.
Some things on the list have ended up being things I genuinely needed, like an athletic shirt for a hiking trip. Some are wants that I’ve acted on, like moisturizing foot masks for that hiking trip (in case you want to put them on your list, too). Others have fluttered away; for example, the urge to get a small metallic purse (e.g.) has basically passed. Though I am keeping it on the list, for now, because it turns out the list is fun. I put some perfume and lipstick on the list, stuff I am looking forward to buying when I feel like a pick-me-up.
Did you ever flip through toy catalogs when you were little and circle things you wanted your parents to buy you for Christmas or your birthday? I loved doing this. I do not, honestly, remember if I ended up getting anything in particular that I circled. Just wishing for things—we’re sort of being trained out of doing it, which is a shame. Desire in and of itself can be a pleasure.