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Dear Care and Feeding,
We started doing weekly Facetime calls with the grandparents who live states away. My 6-year-old daughter is usually a delight: chatty, funny, precocious. Unfortunately, that is not at all the child they get during these calls.
She’s goofy, talks in unintelligible silly voices, gets distracted by the camera, and makes faces into the phone and is generally irritating. I hate that her grandparents are working so hard to have a conversation, and she gives them nothing. Any tips? Can I block the screen so she can’t see herself? I am starting to dread this time.
—Hung Up
Dear Hung Up,
FaceTime calls are a little difficult for a child your daughter’s age. It’s hard for young kids to take them seriously, and they don’t realize how annoying it is for them to be silly when someone’s trying to have a real conversation with them. You need to give her some grace. Patiently explain that her grandparents don’t want to hear weird voices or see funny faces when they call and that because they live far away, this is the only time they can regularly “see” her. If she just can’t focus, you may want to try letting her have a regular voice call with her grandparents instead of FT; it may be easier for her to concentrate without seeing herself. It may just take a couple of years for her to mature enough to be normal on a video call, and that’s okay. I’m sure her grandparents are still happy to see their sweet, silly granddaughter whenever they can. Her antics probably bother you more than they do them. If you want her grands to see how she typically behaves and what a good conversationalist she can be, send them videos.
—Jamilah