Kellyanne Conway. Smart. Savvy. Blond, beautiful, great figure, nifty dresser, she could outtalk and out-con Cicero. Risen high, she then fell into a Shakespearean drama.
Pollster, political consultant, she became senior counselor to then-President Trump. Daily dominating the TV news, she’d issue crafty scenarios. Even before, she sat in my kitchen weighing should she/shouldn’t she follow Donald into the White House. I was alongside when he hugged her Inauguration Day. I was at her table at its black-tie gala. I sat alongside her lawyer husband, George Conway, who proudly carried her mink wrap as she faced the cameras.
But … then … her private life did a 180. She had four children.
Teenage Claudia became a strident political noise against her. The proud husband became an outspoken anti-Trumper. The more her voice was heard, the louder they screamed. To save either her family or her sanity Kellyanne eventually resigned.
More literature is now grinding out about Donald than there ever was about Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. Pence, Pompeo, Bannon, nice niece Mary, another 22 are in the opening stages. Kellyanne’s has a multi-million dollar deal.
She’s written books before. This one’s recipe is a little about her tough pillow talk with her husband, a little about growing up a growing family and a lot about Donald. May the best manuscript win.
Also coming is more royal titles stuff. I don’t mean a Queen Latifah, Regina King, Doris Duke, Count Basie, Earl ‘Fatha’ Hines, Prince, Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. We’re talking a film version of the novel “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” which will star Emma Corrin, who just played Princess Diana in “The Crown.” Plus Season 2 of “A Very English Scandal,” which had starred Hugh Grant and Ben Whishaw. This one’s about the Duke & Duchess of Argyll’s jolly good ’60s sex scandal played by Claire Foy and Paul Bettany.
The retreads continue
More newies about oldies. Like about the making of “The Godfather.” Oscar Isaac plays Francis Ford Coppola, Jake Gyllenhaal embodies Robert Evans, Elle Fanning relives Ali MacGraw. “The Godfather” had its own drama. It was literally make or break for the studio, which teetered on closing. Instead, it contended with real mobsters, who for real weren’t real happy with this film … And Ron Howard’s immortalizing the Thai cave rescue — 12 boys and their soccer coach. It’s called “Thirteen Lives.” Viggo Mortensen, Colin Farrell, Joel Edgerton play rescuers … The Bee Gees are getting a biopic. Director’s Kenneth Branagh.
Next in line
Open local mouths shrieking impeachment should learn this state’s peculiarities. Our lawmakers — those not on parole — should know that unlike the congressional yahoos, impeachment here means the lieutenant governor automatically takes over until the NY Senate decides whether to remove whoever they’re shrieking about. It’s not like US impeachment. The office goes immediately to our lieutenant governor — Kathy Hochul, or Halvah, or whatever her name is.
A real bad sign
Know how bad even cosmetic shopping is? Estée Lauder’s super high-end makeup products — heretofore unloaded only in class-A department stores — are now being hustled on lower-end QVC. Nobody’s in stores. Nobody’s slapping on makeup to go with their pajamas.
Real thing kosher
Back aways, Passover included tasting the real Coca-Cola. Today’s coke is made with corn sweeteners, not the original cane sugar concoction. At Passover, many Jewish people avoid corn, so in religious areas the company bottled a kosher version sweetened with cane sugar. Most can’t tell the difference. I knew you’d absolutely want to know this.
In days gone by, a must place at Passover was the Borscht Belt. It’s where questions were always answered with a question. Like, “How do you feel?” — “So how should I feel?” Or “What’s new?” gets answered with “What could be new?” Tell me, “Did you enjoy it?” Why not? “Is your husband coming?” Do I know?
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.