It’s Liza’s 75th birthday on the 12th. I love her.
I remember her devouring cookies — while dieting — in my kitchen. I remember her singing loudly on my terrace a night before one of her big-time openings … And staying in the Hamptons with her dentist Dr. Marc Lazare. We go back a thousand years together. Like calling me from Turin, Italy, while opening a festival … Telling me she’s hopping on a Duracell bike to generate pedal power — whatever that means.
Once she was too nervous to meet Edie Falco … I remember Lady Gaga idolized her … Dressed by Halston always, she still has the shmattas … Grew up at the Plaza … Some prince entertained her in Austria … Dieting while inhaling a giant sundae at BLT Prime … Jane Krakowski wanted her autograph in a restaurant … She said she used to babysit Ron Howard … We talked about her driver/bodyguard M’Hammed Soumayah’s lousy lawsuit. Christina Aguilera bought a home that belonged to Jack Haley Jr., one of her multiple husbands … Fell someplace in Italy that I can’t spell and hurt her leg … I was a bridesmaid when she married and — minutes after he removed his eye makeup — divorced useless David Gest … Joan Rivers’ exact quote: “She needs a real man, like Rosie O’Donnell” … In ’02, the audience stood up for her entire rendition of “New York, New York.”
Until she moved to LA, we were in each other’s homes. I brought flowers to her, she schlepped her two dogs to me … She did rehab … Barry Manilow bought every record she ever made … Sang at Carnegie Hall … One New Year’s Eve at Disney World, she fell asleep on Carol Channing’s lap … Dinner with the Clintons at their home … Kay Thompson lived with her … Her shoes from “Liza With a Z” she donated to the Lighthouse benefit.
For Sinatra’s birthday, she jumped out of a cake … For a husband, she bought a pickup truck … For a Kennedy Center appearance, she said, “I felt like a duck up there” … While Mia Farrow awaited her at a restaurant, she was home embroidering … Her quote: “I haven’t laid off since kindergarten” … and: “When time for my funeral, it better be just as big as Joan Rivers.’”
Art value increases as Crowe flies
Russell Crowe is set to immortalize artist Mark Rothko. The abstract impressionist, known for his modern art, which has sold for roughly $50 million per canvas, was born Markus Rothkowitz in Russia. In the film titled “Rothko,” he now gets played with a kiwi accent.
Famous works often rise in price when the artist leaves us. Dennis Hopper said: “I bought a wonderful Jean-Michel Basquiat painting for $17,000. After he died, I was offered $1 million for it.
Money talks
This year NYC’s Campaign Finance Board costs us big. The agency gives 8 to 1 matching funds to hobbled candidates bobbling for office. If a wannabe only gets a $10 donation now, he/she gets another $90 handed to the campaign.
This supposedly levels the playing field by allowing candidates to survive with itsy donations.
Our behinds are smarter. Mujib Rahman just ran (or walked) for city council in Queens. And received $131,320 in matching funds but got only 192 votes — below 3 percent of the ballots cast. The good news? I still don’t know who he is
Cancel stench
You’ve read how now we even got us the Nostril Police. They’ve sniffed something bad in the famous cartoon skunk Pepé Le Pew. So now some clogged nose who smells worse than Pepé is cutting the fake skunk loose. I mean, please. Next, Mickey Mouse goes down the toilet!
Capital One Bank, 59th & Third. Miles of paper spitting out of the ATM onto the ground. By itself. Like the bank is so fed up with CV that even the machines had a meltdown.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.