Everything’s changing. Elections, opinions, fashions, movies, parties — even Judge Judy.
Despite the intense hardship of dredging a word out of Judge Judy, she said: “I’ve been CBS’s top-rated program 11 straight years. This is my anniversary. My 25th season on TV. A magic number’s 25. Nobody ever brags about: ‘Wow! I’ve been there 27 ³/₄ years.’ Perfect time is leaving on top at the 25 number. You can’t stay at the party too long.
“My new show is ‘Judy Justice.’ Start date, December. Some details are iffy because COVID makes production cumbersome. It will be on Amazon. Why Amazon? Because they run everything. They have resources. Great attitude. Like my old butcher Sam. Sam doesn’t do stupid. So I should change and get another butcher? We’ll shoot in LA. My sense is the audience can take a little more of me, so I’ll deliver 120 episodes.
“Program, characters, the set, everything will be different. Me, the same. Me always in the middle chair. Governing by committee is not my strong suit. And unless the audience wants to see me in a two-piece bathing suit, I’ll wear a robe. Different color. Maybe eggplant color.
“I didn’t want to retire. I don’t have hobbies. I enjoy working. Another thing. It’s streaming. On a rainy weekend, with enough vodka, I can download me anytime.”
But Her Honor’s real craze? A 3-month-old brown powderpuff Shih Tzu who entered the Sheindlin household Saturday. Two pounds. But, says Judy: “She pees 10 pounds a day. This morning, 5:30, I put a robe on over pajamas, then a coat, added socks, slippers, a roll of toilet paper and took her outside. Imagine if anyone saw me.
“I love love love her. Everyone in Florida, getting older, they only talk about their doctor. Their medicines. Their nonsleeping. Their irregularities. You have a pet, you smile.”
Me, I was married a lifetime to comedian Joey Adams. So what did my friend Judy name her dog? Joey.
Her husband of a lifetime Judge Jerry: “Next we get a feral cat. We’ll name that Cindy.”
‘Woman’ turns tables
In coming revenge thriller “Promising Young Woman,” Carey Mulligan’s compulsive character picks up guys after pretending she’s sipped a few too many. Carey: “Playing Cassie, I felt scared. Out at night, alone, seemingly drunk, she allows herself to be rescued by a man. After whoever the guy is takes advantage, she then snaps out of it cold sober and teaches him a lesson. The role made me feel anxious.” “Promising” people ask a promise. Shut up and don’t spoil it for others by revealing what happens. In theaters Dec. 25. Sweet Christmas gift.
Pay attention
The coronavirus is breaking up that ol’ gang of mine — and everyone else’s. Ireland lets you drive 3 ¹/₂ miles from home. How to know precisely how far you’ve driven, who knows? But cops stop, check you and beyond that you cannot move … For a while NY-1’s very pleasant Ruschell Boone Zoomed from home. If she does again, she should know there’s one same small, lonely orchid plant in same corner. Alone. Either water it, move it, add to it or lose it … Also, everyone please stop doing TV interviews in front of the same damn dumb bookcase?!
Pol position
The GOP is going to hold the Senate. Our founders provided the Senate as brakes on the executive branch. Another thought: The Hunter Biden thing didn’t resonate because suburban women won’t attack an opponent’s child — even an addict who profited by a father’s position. Final thought: Republicans could retake Congress in two years and the presidency in four — abhorring socialism and taxes, we believe in preserving us as a republic.
Besides alleged Pinocchios having/not having erasers on their lengthening noses, everyone’s got a thought about this election. On Greg Kelly’s podcast GOP pollster John McLaughlin: “Mainstream media, repeating mistakes of 2016, got their polls wrong again. The key problem was in the sample size of conservative voters.”
Certain females are eager to travel again. They miss getting frisked at airports since it’s not happening at home.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.