Demi Moore was on a romantic vacation with ex-husband Ashton Kutcher when she broke her sobriety of nearly 20 years.
“Ashton was enjoying a glass of good red wine when he said, ‘I don’t know if alcoholism is a real thing — I think it’s all about moderation,'” she writes in her tell-all book, “Inside Out.” “I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner, or do a tequila shot at a party. In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too. So I tried to become that: a fun, normal girl.”
Moore, 56, continued, “I didn’t think, ‘This is a kid in his twenties who has no idea what he’s talking about.’ I think, ‘I have nearly two decades of sobriety under my belt, and that’s a huge accomplishment.’ Instead, I cast about for justifications.”
That night, she had a beer from the hotel minibar.
Moore detailed her spiral back into addiction, blaming herself for losing a pregnancy because of her drinking and the collapse of her relationship with Kutcher, with whom she was married from 2005 to 2013.
She describes another vacation for her birthday, which ended up with her passing out in a hot tub and being carried to bed by Ashton, who was “furious” with her. And while she understood his anger, Moore was also confused by it.
“Ashton had encouraged me to go in this direction. When I went too far, though, he let me know how he felt by showing a picture he’d taken of me resting my head on the toilet the night before,” she recalled. “It seemed like a good-natured joke at the time. But it was really just shaming.”
By 2011, Moore was estranged from two of her three daughters — Scout and Tallulah — and from ex-husband Bruce Willis.
“I think the part that was real was that the girls were angry I’d become so dependent on Ashton — I was addicted to him, is the best way I can put it,” she writes, adding that she prioritized him over her kids.
Moore and Kutcher announced their split in November 2011 and she has since reconciled with her daughters and Willis.
“I’m grateful to Ashton, too, believe it or not,” she wrote. “Whatever pain we went through together enabled both of us to grow into the people we are today.”
Reps for Kutcher didn’t immediately return our request for comment.