July Fourth is over. Also over is Operation Baseball in that Mother Country from which we escaped after being a colony and establish July Fourth.
So here’s what you didn’t hear: Baseball is catching on in England. Next year their shtick might be another import. Another USA game. Being discussed is the Cardinals versus the Cubs. And — blimey! — wouldn’t that excite us all like leftovers of warmed up shepherd’s pie.
But — if so — what might the ab-fab all-star pinstriped Bronx Bombers New York winning Yankees do? There’s chat about Kevin Costner’s ’89 Oscar nominee “Field of Dreams.” The scenario was he created a field on his Iowa land after a mysterious voice in his head said, “If you build it, they will come.” Could be maybe possibly the Yankees build a larger stadium. In Iowa.
Like, play the White Sox. Then leave that field for the locals. The ear that’s as large as an elephant’s ear is picking up that talk.
Leftover is maybe what you didn’t hear from Over There:
After both teams brought goodies for new baby Archie, Mrs. Prince Harry said about the Yankee’s present of a onesie: “This outdoes the gift from the people next door.” This comment possibly gets denied by the palace — but they deny everything. Buckingham still denies HM’s name is Elizabeth.
More. Back when DJT was there, the prez and the maj got on great. She enjoyed him. I don’t mean the queen’s going to invite Donald over for Passover or anything, but she enjoyed his company. So, just to be correct, no, he’s not taking over Buckingham to make it a condo. No, we’re not talking Trump Palace.
NYers invade Blighty
Cluttered with New Yorkers, Knightsbridge looked like Seventh Avenue. Reggie Jackson schmoozing Mayor Sadiq Khan. Locals praising Ambassador Woody Johnson. Swanning around? Rudy. Not Valentino or Nureyev. Giuliani who — blimey! — is like a rock star in Blighty. Hotshot was Zac Posen, who’d designed Delta’s new uniforms. Stewardesses loved that they were stretchy. Some of them loved the scarves. What other stewardesses say about them, I have no proof one way or the other. He also designed Katharine McPhee’s dress for her wedding to David Foster.
Biggest bitch was traffic. Lorries, Aston Martins, Rollses, double-decker buses, taxis the size of Hummers and roads as narrow as Bernie Sanders’ brain. From Heathrow to center London took three hours. Almost as long as A-Rod’s sit on his bathroom can.
What I’m hearing
Another report — and lotsa luck getting this confirmed. After blowing Game 1, Boston’s bosses’ faces went as red as their sox. Actual quote from an actual person who supposedly actually heard it was: “So pissed they said they didn’t even want to watch the second game.”
Friendly, but could work on efficiency
England’s got more problems than Brexit. Fly into Heathrow. Nothing moves. Minus a lame camel, it makes New York City’s crosstown look like congestion on the Sahara. Forget an aging traveler with a bad bladder. One young driver with no prostate problem even had to stop mid-drive to pee.
But — everyone loved the friendly Brits. Even construction workers were polite. In their subway — the Tube — everyone polite, helpful, no refuse anywhere. The nearest trash was at our own Times Square stop.
Judge Judy: “Would you believe somebody just thought I was Dr. Ruth!” Which brings me to Saks Fifth. My sales lady: “Oh, I love the New York Post. Particularly the Page Six lady.” Me: What Page Six lady? She: “Liz Smith.” (FYI: Liz, never on Page Six, passed away years ago.)
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.