As I promised before Halloween, I’ve continued scouring Tubi for potential Slasher Search material. It’s been a struggle so far. Most of the things I’ve clicked on turn out to be hard to get through and easy to give up on. For example I tried to watch one called HAUNTED TRAIL because it was directed by A RAGE IN HARLEM star Robin Givens and I thought that was interesting that she directed a horror movie, but I lost patience before anything happened. When I don’t have to pick out a finite number of tapes or discs and carry them home my remote finger is itchier.
So for now here’s one that I actually found on DVD, and it’s not available streaming, but it’s an obscurity from the aughts that seems very Tubi-appropriate to me. HACK! (2007) fits squarely and stupidly into the meta-slasher tradition even though it’s a full eleven years after SCREAM. The characters keep talking about horror movies, and the killer(s) is/are trying to make one. But please note the scene where a guy swears he saw a scary clown in the woods and they ask if he looked like Captain Spaulding, explaining that that’s a character from HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES and then explaining that that’s a Rob Zombie movie. It’s a reminder that this is, what – three horror cycles after SCREAM? But they don’t seem to have learned anything substantial from any of them. (read the rest of this shit…)
Now we come not to the end of this Ronny Yu series, or to its peak, but at least to a watershed moment. If you read this whole series, or at least the BRIDE OF CHUCKY review, you don’t need to ask the question “how the hell does the guy who made THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR end up making FREDDY VS. JASON?”
But at the risk of reptitition, let’s run through it again real quick. For starters, Yu had been making horror movies for 20 years (THE TRAIL, THE OCCUPANT, MUMMY DEAREST, BLESS THIS HOUSE), so that part wasn’t out of the blue. Then in the ‘90s two things happened: the new wave of Hong Kong cinema became popular around the world, and many Hong Kong filmmakers began to worry about what would happen to artistic freedom once colonial rule ended in 1997. That combination of circumstances led filmmakers like John Woo, Ringo Lam and Tsui Hark, as well actors like Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung, to start finding opportunities in Hollywood. (read the rest of this shit…)
is when BLADE came out and changed both cinema and humanity forever. But I already wrote the definitive review of that so here I am reviewing DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS.
It turns out maybe the comedies that come out in August are not essential to a summer movie retrospective. That’s a lesson I’m learning. I actually saw DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS at the time, but I realize now that I was conflating my memory of it with IDLE HANDS. I knew it was a different movie, but I thought it was another supernatural teen horror comedy. It was about half an hour in before I realized oh shit, he’s not gonna turn into a zombie. This is that movie where they find out their college has an obscure rule that if your roommate commits suicide then they have to give you straight As (just go with it) so they try to find an unstable roommate and push him to the brink. The kind of movie that should just have a disclaimer and a 1-800 number running across the screen throughout like a watermark on a critic’s screener. (read the rest of this shit…)
Recently I realized I missed one of the early Isaac Florentine movies, a goofy John-Woo-inspired bank robber story starring Antonio Sabato Jr. (and Sr.), Shannon Lee, Amy Smart and Lochlyn Munro. So I reviewed it for my column on Daily Grindhouse, which is now called America’s Got Punching (formerly Journey to Battle Island).
I wonder if they considered Leslie Nielsen for THE BOONDOCK SAINTS?
FROM THE OUTLAW VAULTS: I never get to take Martin Luther King Day off at my job, but I’m gonna simulate taking a day off here on outlawvern.com by posting an old review of a Leslie Nielsen movie you never heard of. This is a review I came across on my hard drive that I wrote two years ago shortly after Nielsen’s death, but never quite finished or posted. It’s not a movie I’m gonna go back and rewatch in order to complete the review, but I didn’t want to waste all that typing, either. So here it is.
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Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t find myself renting some 2001 Leslie Nielsen movie I never heard of. But the poor guy died recently and I happened to notice this one was written by Billy Bob Thornton (with his partner Tom Epperson and some guy who was in SPIDERBABY), so I wanted to see what the deal was.
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Skani on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “I think segregation over time has been decreasing modestly, but not a ton (google the article: Metropolitan Segregation: No Breakthrough…” Jul 25, 16:20
Glaive Robber on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “I think by talking about the movies of a different era, we’re talking about different people. There were more racially-diverse…” Jul 25, 13:53
emteem on The Client: “Reading this review made me say to a friend: Remember when we used to read John Grisham novels and then…” Jul 25, 13:46
VERN on Huda’s Salon: “Wow, Glaive, I had no idea. Thanks for sharing that link. Really interesting stuff. Also I agree with you, it’s…” Jul 25, 12:38
VERN on Huda’s Salon: “The last part of that angry comment seemed like too much so I checked the ip address, and they seem…” Jul 25, 12:28
Ben C. on Huda’s Salon: “Crudnasty, “Learn to Vern” – that’s life wisdom right there. I mean it in all seriousness.” Jul 25, 12:01
Dreadguacamole on Longlegs: “Skani – in case it isn’t clear, I am absolutely not an expert on occult or demonology either, just read…” Jul 25, 11:30
Bert on Huda’s Salon: “1. Vern, I want to echo what others have said, this is an excellent review and I appreciate your takes…” Jul 25, 11:24
Glaive Robber on Huda’s Salon: “Wow, are those NUCLEAR THREATS in a comment section for a film site?? COOL STORY, BRO. Since we’re in here…” Jul 25, 10:52
Skani on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “Quite possibly, and my comment may have been only adjacent or tangential and based on my own hobby horses. I’ve…” Jul 25, 10:49
Handsome Dan on Huda’s Salon: “Yeah, Vern, I got to admit,כך has a point. I’m a little tired of you going on and on about…” Jul 25, 09:52
Crudnasty on Huda’s Salon: “Also, this is a web sight. Learn to Vern, friendo.” Jul 25, 09:50
Crudnasty on Huda’s Salon: “Just popping in to say I appreciate Vern even more for reviews like this, and that I love seeing flashes…” Jul 25, 09:43
RBatty024 on Huda’s Salon: “I really can’t tell what is satire and what is real anymore.” Jul 25, 09:32
Kaplan on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “I think it’s more of a kneejerk response to say that anything that was created A While Ago must be…” Jul 25, 09:25