Men need to stop shaming women for not having kids: Jana Hocking
My week started with two consecutive head-scratching “WTF” shouting moments that left me feeling like middle aged men have officially lost their minds.
It first kicked off when I was scrolling through my Instagram and a friend, and media commentator posted a picture of Tucker Carlson.
The caption read: “Heard Tucker Carlson give a masterful speech in Sydney this evening…”. He then quoted something Tucker said: “The Western world’s now characterized by people not having babies, and beautiful things being defaced. That’s a big clue that the problem we face is spiritual.”
I kind of stopped in my tracks and questioned what I just read. So, I took to the googlesphere to find out exactly what Tucker meant about “people not having babies” that seemed to be the problem.
The results were not good. I repeat, not good. It turns out it’s not “people” he has a problem with. It would appear it’s more specifically “women not having babies” he has a problem with.
But we will circle back to that shortly.
Because the second WTF moment came just a few hours later when an American writer by the name of John Mac Ghlionn decided to write an opinion piece on Taylor Swift for Newsweek.
After listing Swift’s many achievements and economic boosts, he posed a question: “Is she a good role model for young girls in the US and beyond?”
He then went on to point out her dating history (yes, girlfriend has been out with an array of fascinating men). He said not having kids was the reason she’s a bad role model.
For shame!
Within mere hours I’ve been smacked in the face by two middle aged men ranting about women who choose not to have babies.
As someone who has chosen that path for myself I wanted to scream!
It got worse when I came across a video of Carlson and a guest on his TV show, Jess Kelly, ranting on about Chelsea Handler not having children. These “educated” men started saying things like:
Carlson: “She’s an ageing, deeply unlikeable woman who never had kids.”
Kelly: “Handler’s womb resembles a dried-up tumbleweed blowing down an old western town.”
It would appear the only way to mow a woman down these days is to attack her fertile bodyparts and the fact she doesn’t have kids.
Then you have Mac Ghlionn s**t shaming Swift, with quotes such as: “She has dated numerous high-profile men, at least a dozen.”
Shock, horror. That’s called modern dating, and not settling for someone just because society screams that you must IMMEDIATELY settle down.
And the real kicker when he states: “This revolving door of relationships may reflect the normal dating experiences of many young women in today’s world, but it also raises questions about stability, commitment, and even love itself.”
He’s called her dating history “a revolving door of relationships” code word for ‘s***ty’ and ponders if it’s because she doesn’t love herself enough.
Oh grandpa, I think it’s time for your nap.
But he wasn’t done yet. Oh no. He continued “Should we encourage young girls to see the ‘Swift standard’; as the norm, something to aspire to? Or should we be promoting something a little more, shall we say, wholesome? Would any loving parent reading this want their daughter to date 12 different men in the span of just a few years? This is not an attack on Swift; it’s a valid question that is worth asking.”
Is it though?
How dare she let herself go on a variety of dates until she finds one that is quite right. How dare she not feel societal pressures to shack up, be quiet and have babies like a good girl.
Would he write the same article about a man in the same position? Funny, I don’t see Harry
Styles who has had a gloriously colourful love life, being asked the same questions. Or Jared Leto. Or John Cena. Or heck, even Seth Rogen.
All seen as legendary. All without kids. Where is the outrage aimed at them. Is it because, dare I say it, they have been graced with a penis?
While Swift is making money, she’s also copping s**t-shaming misogynistic comments about her healthy love life and a body that has chosen not to have children yet.
The world’s gone mad I tell you.
She’s not the problem for young impressionable women, this crazy old man is.
So in the fine words of Handler, “Why would I even need my own children when I get to hear these crybabies all the time? … You guys seem so triggered by me. I mean, my goodness, Tucker, I think it is time for you to ask yourself a serious question: Are you really upset about how much freedom I have? Or are you upset that you haven’t been able to take it away from me yet?”
And that’s the question to really ponder. Why are these men so worried about what we women are doing? Is it our own free-will over our bodies and beds that have them stomping their tiny little feet. A psychologist would have a field day with them.
How about you focus on your own side of the fence and leave us to have a jolly good time with ours. Oh, while propping up the economy.
Not today Satan.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
