Dear Reader,
We’ve made it. We really did it. We have finally reached the last stretch of commencement season — which came after an unusually long encampment season.
It’s been a wild, and wildly contentious, month that had a little too much extra circumstance in its pomp. It felt like it lasted a few decades. It was so long that some of the graduates already have viral TikTok videos of them crying in their cars because their work-life balance stinks.
But, oh, the places we went. Or didn’t. Columbia University, which was the capital of the pro-Palestinian tentifada, canceled its main graduation ceremony because of the protest chaos.
Meanwhile, Howard University’s nursing school graduation was stopped mid ceremony when angry attendees — locked out after capacity was reached — banged on the doors and even smashed a window, screaming, “Let us in!”
Elsewhere, some new grads just wanted to exit. There were walkouts at a few colleges. At Morehouse, students turned their backs during President Biden’s speech. At Duke, they jeered that divisive Pop-Tart enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld.
And now, all of America can name at least one NFL kicker.
This week, we learned of Annabelle Jenkins, who turned her Idaho high school graduation into a provocation.
As she walked up to the school superintendent to accept her diploma, she produced a copy of the “The Handmaid’s Tale” in graphic novel form that the district had tossed from libraries over its illustrations of sexual violence. When he wouldn’t take it from her, she dropped it at his feet.
I have to applaud Jenkins for getting her hands on a book that was banned. Very resourceful and brave use of an Amazon account.
She insisted on her TikTok that she didn’t mean to go viral, but did. Oopsie.
As Jenkins proved, graduation is a stage. And some who walked in Columbia’s pared-down festiviites were ready for their close-ups.
Social work major Tarsis Salome came to the stage with her hands in zip ties and made a spectacle of ripping her diploma to shreds.
That’ll show ’em … that she’s petulant child. At least she didn’t, like one of her classmates, wear what appeared to be the name of a Hamas leader scrawled on her cap.
At Harvard, grads followed in the grand tradition of “Beverly Hills, 90210” — specifically, the 1993 episode where protesters at West Beverly High famously demanded that “Donna Martin graduates.”
“As I stand here today, I must take a moment to recognize my peers — the 13 undergraduates in the Class of 2024 that will not graduate today,” Harvard student Shruthi Kumar said in her address, referencing classmates denied their diplomas over involvement in anti-Israel encampments.
Then about 1,000 students walked out in solidarity.
With the benefit of age and wisdom, I now unequivocally believe that Donna Martin did not deserve to graduate.
At Brandeis, documentarian Ken Burns gave grads a grim political outlook: Elect Trump and we’re all history.
Micah Price, a high schooler in Kentucky who is off to the Air Force Academy, was initially denied his diploma because he went off script and praised Jesus in his speech.
Then he did something remarkable. He took accountability.
“I am in the wrong, technically, because I went against Campbell County code, the rules,” Price said. “The principals are just doing their job.”
Perhaps there’s hope after all.
Back to Jesus.
The Kansas City Chiefs’ very Catholic kicker Harrison Butker rocked the nation with his speech to a very Catholic college, praising moms.
He essentially said female grads might go off to have great careers — but motherhood and marriage might trump work.
There were parts of his speech to disagree with, but that particular section was willfully misunderstood as misogynistic by many who are still gassing it for outrage points.
In May, I saw an excellent commencement speech as my nephew received his diploma from the University of Tampa.
Alum Marty Rifkin, a pioneer in the gummy vitamin space, kept his words short and sweet, regaling the audience with his early hits and misses.
He recalled filling his company’s first massive order, only to learn the entire delivery had melted when left in the hot Florida sun.
It was about pivoting, preparing and having a sense of humor when stuff goes south.
Much like the message that Seinfeld offered to the Duke students (the smart ones who didn’t walk out, at least).
So as we go out into this post graduation world, heed the words of Seinfeld and Rifkin (Marty, not Joel, you sickos).
Laugh a lot now, because next year’s commencement season will be much much worse.
Congrats to us all.
