New Panthers head coach Dave Canales revealed scandalous details about his infidelity, pornography addiction and binge drinking in a book he co-authored with his wife, 16 months before earning his first head-coaching gig.
Canales and wife Lizzy penned a faith-based book, “This Marriage? The Question That Changed Everything,” that revealed how he overcame past addictions.
The 42-year-old — who said he no longer drinks and is not addicted to pornography — and his wife detailed how their Christian roots helped them save their marriage and family.
“I was living a secret life,” Canales wrote, according to The Charlotte Observer.
“No matter how hard I tried by going to church, reading my Bible and praying … I always had a secret, dark place that was just mine.”
Canales published the book in September 2022 when he was still a position coach with the Seattle Seahawks, and before he got his big break in 2023, when he became the offensive coordinator for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
The couple said they wrote the book to help other couples struggling with marriage.
“We wanted other people to feel safe starting this journey toward a vibrant marriage by helping them see they are not alone,” the couple wrote in the book’s preface.
They also wrote in the foreword, per The Charlotte Observer: “Welcome to our mess and the beautiful way that God has worked ALL THINGS together for us.”
The couple said writing the book and reliving the painful details of their past was like going through another round of counseling, but it helped them “find renewed healing and hope through a stronger understanding of what happened.”
The Panthers said they were aware of the book before hiring Canales last week.
A team spokesman said Canales would not be available for comment until his introductory news conference in Charlotte on Thursday.
Canales wrote in the book about how he finally made some “dark confessions” about his infidelity to his wife.
“A huge part in the severed intimacy that I was experiencing with Lizzy was because I was addicted to pornography,” Canales wrote. “It was like a gateway drug for me, creating pathways in my brain that allowed me to use sex coldly for my own benefit. It was a secret, silent struggle that I had years before I was married.”
He also wrote about how he cheated on Lizzy one month before they were married.
The Charlotte Observer reported Canales admitted to having multiple affairs, and he first cheated on his wife at his bachelor party.
“From the start of our relationship, I was binge drinking and going out with friends, without Lizzy,” Canales wrote. “Before I was ever unfaithful to her, I was already there in my mind. Bad habits combined with addiction made it hard for me to resist temptation. It was a pattern I knew well before we started dating.”
When Canales told his parents and parents-in-law of his infidelity, his mother-in-law responded, per The Charlotte Observer: “I never trusted you fully. I’ve told Lizzy that, and now I know why.”
Lizzy asked Canales if he had unprotected sex during his affairs, and he admitted to doing so, leading to both taking tests that came back negative, according to The Charlotte Observer.
Canales also described himself as a “recovering narcissist,” and detailed how he had to work hard at “developing the skills necessary to be aware beyond myself and my needs.”
As for his issues with drinking, Canales wrote: “I quit drinking alcohol altogether, knowing that I do not have great restraint in that area, and it numbs me to making other poor choices.”
He described how early in his marriage, despite going to church, he would go out at times with friends and take off his wedding ring on certain occasions and act as though he wasn’t married.
“This didn’t happen all the time, but I left a crack in the door for deceit,” Canales wrote, per The Charlotte Observer.
Canales said the long hours as an NFL assistant coach weren’t to blame for his issues but gave him more opportunities to make bad decisions.
The couple wrote the book knowing that exposing painful and highly personal matters could potentially hinder Canales’ ability to land future jobs in the NFL.
They said their marriage is now stronger than ever and their belief in God has helped them, discussing the importance of faith and prayer.
Lizzy wrote in the book that meant essentially burning down the old marriage while bringing forth something entirely new from the ashes.
“Many are shocked when we tell them,” the couple wrote. “For some it is incredibly uncomfortable and maybe even convicting. For others it is like a breath of fresh air and an invitation to go deeper into their own relationships.”
The couple have four children.
In the book’s foreword, former NFL coach Tony Dungy wrote: “Unlike so many couples today, they didn’t let their marriage wither away. They wouldn’t let it go. So instead, David and Lizzy resolved to get things back on the right track and rediscover that sense of purpose and that intimacy they had at the beginning. I’m happy to let you know they have done just that.”
— With AP
