‘Tinselling’ is the cheery new holiday dating trend that could actually be harmful
All that glitters could spell trouble.
Experts are warning couples struggling with their relationships not to get too swept up in seasonal sparkle over the holidays — a common mistake known as tinselling.
Tina Wilson, a relationship expert and founder and CEO of Wingman, coined the term to describe the way couples often try to bury their true feelings under so much Hallmark movie-worthy coziness.
“The name draws inspiration from the shiny, cheerful veneer of tinsel, which is used to decorate during the festive season, covering what is beneath,” the app creator recently told Tyla.
During the holiday season, couples tend to shy away from the bigger issues, often in hopes of a Christmas miracle, Wilson said.
“[Couples] choose to maintain a facade of harmony and togetherness. All while overlooking unresolved problems in the relationship.”
Wilson is warning people about the dangers “tinselling” can do to your relationship.
“Warning signs of being in a tinselling relationship is noticing their partner being overly full of the Christmas spirit, presents and joy galore…. but if you want to talk about anything serious they will always say let’s talk after Christmas or push it off,” Wilson told The Post.
The act is viewed as a “deliberate distraction,” until the harsh, cold light of a new year eventually forces couples to face reality — and each other.
Nicole Sodoma, Marriage-Loving Divorce Attorney and Author of Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, agrees that avoidance doesn’t bring a resolution in relationships.
“Tinselling is an easy way to get through the holidays by ignoring the signs that are telling you something is broken or not right for you in the relationship,” the North Carolina attorney The Post. “So, why wait for the inevitable to happen?”
Once the clock strikes midnight, instead of making amends, so many people decide to call it quits — and begin drafting divorce documents — that January has become known as “divorce month.”
“The pressure of the Christmas period where people are being exposed to their families and in-laws, is often the catalyst for people making the decision to end their marriages,” Cassandra Kalpaxis, family and divorce lawyer at Kalpaxis Legal, told News.com.au.
She outlines that finances play a significant factor in the downfall in relationships.
“Financial pressure is a huge stressor for most families navigating this time of year,” Kalpaxis adds. “Given the cost of living that we are facing, I predict that more people are going experience conflict and distress more than ever before.”
However, couples who still have hope for a Christmas miracle should consider speaking to their partner about how they feel instead of ignoring the elephant in the room.
“Maybe it’s the children, the routine, or the fear of being alone. Whatever it is for you, being clear and candid with your partner about your feelings upfront may help to lay the groundwork for the new year,” Sodoma said.
“But, before you take that leap, be sure to understand the consequences of your decision, be prepared and remember the person you marry is not the person you divorce.”