Everything to know about the viral relationship ‘bird test’: ‘It never fails’
Sorry, lovebirds — failing this exam could mean your relationship is flock’d up.
Hopeful honeys are putting prospective partners to a viral test, praying their sweeties pass with flying colors — and if they don’t, that means it’s time to fly the coop.
“I live and die by the f- -king bird test,” Gen Z wingwoman Alyssa Caribardi, 23, says in a trending TikTok tell-all with over 1.9 million views. “It never fails.”
The blond explained that the #BirdTest is a simple screening that helps folks decide if a friendly or romantic connection between two people has longevity.
“I do this with friends, family members, literally anyone that I meet,” continued Caribardi. “If they pass the bird test, I tell them so fast because this s- -t is so fascinating.”
She walked her audience through the relationship appraisal process: “The bird test states that if you’re with someone … romantic or not, if you say something that could be deemed insignificant, and your partner responds with genuine curiosity — that’s a really good sign that your relationship will last a long time.”
Caribardi offered viewers an anecdote — she and a new friend were sipping drinks at Starbucks when she looked out the window and noticed a woodpecker.
After mentioning it to her coffee date, the pair spent the next 10 minutes googling facts about the bark-hammering bird.
The belle regarded her pal’s immediate interest as an indicator of lasting chemistry.
However, Caribardi warns others to be wary of fowl play.
“If [your partner] blows you off, they don’t even acknowledge you, and they’re just like, ‘Oh, cool, a woodpecker,’” she said, “that’s a really bad sign.”
Although her bird test theory might sound cuckoo to some — Caribardi isn’t just winging it.
In fact, it’s a notion officially known as “bids for emotional connection,” proposed by psychologist John Gottman in the 1980s.
“Bids can be small or big, verbal or nonverbal,” according to his eponymous site. “They’re requests to connect. They might take the form of an expression, question, or physical outreach. They can be funny, serious, or sexual in nature.”
Gottman found that repeated rejection of emotional bids often leads to relationship ruin.
“When our partner denies our bids, we internalize the experience. Our brains subconsciously keep track of how many bids are accepted or rejected by our partners,” reads the research. “When our partner constantly turns away or against our bids, we begin to feel frustrated. We are more inclined to criticize our partners, which pushes them to be defensive and may result in an argument.”
“When couples break up, it’s usually not because of issues like big fights or infidelity,” added the report. “More often, it’s a result of the resentment and distance that builds up over time when partners continually turn away from bids for connection.”
And while the subject of an emotional bid can be about almost anything, it seems folks online have a penchant for using feathered friends for the litmus test.
At the top of the year, an Australian dater took to TikTok to share that an interest in “cockatoos and crows” helps her determine if she wants to pursue a romance with a gentleman suitor.
Meanwhile, fans of Caribardi’s clip on the matter eagerly chirped about their bird test experiences.
“I’ve always done this except with cows and horses on a road trip. If I say ‘Look, cows!’ and you don’t look at the cows, you’re dead to me,” confessed a no-nonsense advocate.
“EVERY time I see an Eagle, I’m like LOOK an Eagle! but my husband doesn’t respond. probably getting a divorce now,” a bird-obsessed woman crowed.
“It’s anything you find fascinating,” another onlooker penned.
“Your friend or partner should show interest because you are interested and therefore it becomes important to you,” a fourth clucked.
