My ex called my genitals ‘ugly’ — it ruined my sex life for years
A young Australian who was cruelly told by an ex-partner they had “ugly” genitalia has revealed becoming a sex worker finally helped them love their vagina.
Gem Campbell, a sexologist and dietitian from Coffs Harbour, was 13 when they noticed their labia protruded.
Around 50 percent of women and people with vaginas have a labia minora, also known as inner lips, that are longer than their labia majora (the outer lips), with health authorities stressing it is perfectly normal.
The discovery left the 27-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, wondering “why” their vagina looked different to the ones she’d seen previously, mostly through porn.
But Campbell only became self-conscious about having an “outie” at 18 after a boyfriend said that their vagina was “ugly”
“These negative comments definitely affected my sex life,” Campbell told SEEN TV.
“When I would sleep with a new person, I would always have this thing that I would do to prevent them seeing my labia minora in full light.
“I would typically only have sex in like very low lighting or like lights off, so it was very difficult to be present in the moment when I was having sex.”
Campbell said they would hide their body during intimate moments for years, stating “it was really like difficult to feel sexy.”
“I did feel quite embarrassed about my body when I was having sex a lot of the time,” they added.
At one stage, Campbell said their mental health reached a “dark” place, which saw them developing a “recurring intrusive thought” about physically “cutting” their vagina.
“I used to get this almost every day, which is pretty intense right?” they said.
It was only when Campbell decided to launch an OnlyFans account in 2020 that their relationship with their genitalia became more positive.
“I started off just doing solo videos, so there was a lot of close-ups filmed with my phone on front camera looking directly at my vulva,” Campbell explained.
“I could not like escape it, it was always in front of me.
“As I was constantly exposed to it I that over time it just helped to take the edge off the negative thoughts.”
Campbell also said as her fan base grew, they began to receive messages, many stating they loved viewing their “long labia.”
“They would be very specific and say that. And I was like, ‘what?’
“I’ve never had anyone say that to me before. Telling me that was really nice.”
Alongside this, Campbell was also seeing a therapist and was studying sexology which let them to sex positive social media accounts which “really helped me too.”
Now Campbell wants to help others with vulva issues by sharing their story and hosting intimate workshops to educate – they also haven’t had the “dark” intrusive impulse to harm themselves in several years.
“And I never actually, obviously did it, but it was hard to resist sometimes,” Campbell warned.
“So to go from such a dark place to where I am now teaching and talking openly on my TikTok and my social media – I don’t even feel any embarrassment or shame or any of that.”
Their biggest piece of advice for anyone with similar issues is to “expose yourself as much as possible to vulva diversity.”
“If anyone comes into your life, who is making fun of your body, you say, ‘bye, b*tch, I don’t want you in my life anymore’.
“That’s not okay.”
