Can a ‘death class’ make life more worth living? These students think so
She’s living her best life, thanks to “death meditation.”
Repeating one phrase to herself — “I may die today, I may die today” — is the first step in the unique mindfulness practice that Lina Bertucci, a 15-year student of Tibetan meditation in Manhattan, credits with helping her cherish every moment.
Next, she relaxes into the feelings of terror and sadness that the thought of her own passing evokes, slowly taking deep breaths while settling into the uncomfortable emotions, thereby diminishing their fear-inducing powers.
And while musing on one’s own demise may sound morbid to most, she says the activity has transformed her relationship with the people, places and things of this world.
“[Death meditation] helps us think about death in a very everyday way and inspires us to live life to the fullest,” Bertucci, a 50-something living in Chelsea, told The Post.
“You think, ‘Yeah, I might not make it home from work today. How do I want to live? How do I want to treat people? How do I want to be treated?'” she added.
The mother of one and professional artist, who’s practiced daily meditation at the Kadampa Meditation Center downtown for nearly two decades, noted that the official title of the mental exercise she submits to is “contemplation on death and impermanence” — touted by late Buddhist monk Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.
“To say, ‘It’s possible that I may die today,’ wakes up an awareness that helps us become more responsible, loving and fearless people, who aren’t lazy about chasing our pleasures and goals today,” continued Bertucci. “It teaches us not to become so attached to things because nothing is permanent.”
The practice of meditating on thoughts of death, which is heavily rooted in ancient Buddhist tradition, is now being widely taught in classes by death experts in New York and Los Angeles.
Manhattan death doula Bryan Melillo regularly hosts hourlong death meditation workshops via Zoom.
At $20 per meeting, he leads students into a near-unconscious sense of “awareness,” taking them outside their minds and into a dreamlike state of peace about dying.
“It helps alleviate the fears and some of the mystery around what happens when you die,” Melillo, 53, told The Post. “I get people to feel from their hearts, without the mind, and guide them through the deep process of letting go.”
Marifel Catalig, 40, a death doula in Los Angeles, helmed a guided-breath meditation retreat called “death reflections” for a group of six students in June. She tells The Post that her “life-affirming” death sessions, which can range in cost from $55 to $120, are meant to inspire participants to reflect on their past and future before it all comes to an end.
“I use breath work to help students build a connection with themselves in meditation, then once that’s established I introduce the idea of death,” Catalig said of the courses.
She’s previously taken part in more avant-garde death meditation practices, too — including eulogy writing, during which participants penned and recited their own funeral speeches, and “shrouding,” the act of swaddling oneself in a white sheet like a mummy.
Catalig lauded the wrapping exercise as a “profound” activity.
“I lead death meditation sessions to help light that match that’s within people,” she said. “To ignite a fire that prompts them to take full control of their existence and ask, ‘What am I doing with my life? Am I grateful or regretful? Am I fulfilled? If not, how can I improve things.’”
The macabre movement is beginning to take on a life of its own online, too.
Much like the “shower meditation” trend, which saw inner-peace seekers scrub away stress and negative emotions in their bathrooms, and the ever-buzzy “4-7-8” breathing hack that puts anxious minds to rest in mere seconds, death meditation has been hailed on social media as spiritually enriching.
On TikTok #DeathMeditation has scared up a staggering 2.5 million views, with practitioners and instructors alike hyping the seemingly outré endeavor’s benefits.
Most prominently, Maranasati — a meditation method highlighting death as a natural event that can occur any time and encouraging participants to keep a positive outlook — has been lauded for its euphoric qualities.
“When I do Maranasati, I feel almost in ecstasy,” says devotee Marcus, 32, in a TikTok post. In it, he leads his more than 500 followers through meditation, instructing them to close their eyes, focus on their breathing patterns and imagine their dead bodies being buried underground.
“When I visualize myself returning to bugs and birds and grass and trees,” continues Marcus in the clip, “[it’s a] feeling that life won’t end when I die.”
Death meditation is also gaining digital acclaim from folks with strong anxieties around the grim certainty of death, also known as thanatophobia. It’s a fear that reached a fever pitch in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak.
In fact, Scott Krakower, a psychiatrist with the Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell, tells The Post he’s noticed a recent uptick in death anxiety among Gen Zers and millennials due to the pandemic.
“During COVID we definitely got a lot of people in their 20s who were really afraid of dying due to all the [uncertainty about the virus],” said Krakower.
Research backs that up.
A July 2022 study conducted at Lebanese University in Lebanon found that “death anxiety was identified as the most significant predictor of fear related to the … pandemic.”
The analysis continued, in part: “Considering the negative psychological effects of fear, it is necessary to educate the adults on how to deal with death anxiety and implement psychological interventions … to relieve fear and improve the mental health.”
A recent report from the Cleveland Clinic also determined that meditating on thoughts related to death can be a form of exposure therapy, which can help folks come to terms with mortality.
Krakower agrees that confronting the fear of death with meditation can be a worthwhile approach.
However, he advises against becoming overly fixated on thoughts of one’s end, saying, “Becoming obsessed with thinking about death defeats the purpose of meditating.
“It’s all about being at peace,” he added.
And peace is exactly what Bertucci is achieving.
She even tells The Post that she’s come to view the process of dying as yet another form of meditation.
“Death is no big deal. We go into meditation, our inner winds absorb, we concentrate and we let go,” said Bertucci. “We’re able to die joyously and peacefully without a grasping attachment to [the things of the world].”
