Good for the heart, bad for the wallet.
A behemoth bran flake is retailing for nearly $200,000 on eBay from a UK seller who describes it as an “elephantine edible.” Where a standard bran flake is typically only 2 centimeters by 1 centimeter, this colossal cereal crisp is said to be 8.6 centimeters by 7.3 centimeters.
“This listing is for one gargantuan and uneaten Bran Flake,” the seller wrote in the description, noting that the king-sized kernel is mounted, framed, undamaged and “still crispy.”
Labeled as “rather strange,” the hopeful retailer said they discovered the peculiar piece while “pouring my least favorite breakfast cereal (aka ‘torture flakes’) in a vain attempt to wean myself off of Pop Tarts and ‘be healthy for a change.'”
“A little tilt of the box was all it took to awaken this mammoth from its slumber, causing it to dislodge and thunder out in what seemed like slow motion before shattering the bowl and embedding itself in the table,” the dramatic description continued.
“I’ll never forget that there was a pigeon outside on the fence, which looked disconcerted but not overly concerning,” the seller added, assuring viewers that “thankfully” no one was injured in the fallout.
While “scientists have not yet studied the monolithic munch,” the retailer is convinced “it holds much significance” — hence the hefty price tag.
“If you do wish to transfer custody of the flake I have no idea how I will actually transport it to you undamaged, but I am confident that we will all get through it together,” the posting concluded.
“I can promise that, once the transaction is complete, you will never see or hear from me again.”
For $196,170 — the equivalent of tens of thousands of cereal boxes — the coveted crunch could be yours if you live in the UK.
This isn’t the first time an abnormally large bran flake has been touted online. In 2017, a father-son duo unearthed a gargantuan flake measuring 5.5 inches by 4 inches, which was dubbed the “world’s biggest” flake at the time.
Other bizarre eBay listings have cropped up recently, including a “gory and sick” human skin suit and a $100 box of delectable Girl Scout cookies. Shortly after Queen Elizabeth’s passing in September, a superfan listed a tea bag supposedly “used” by the monarch herself.