Alan Cumming is currently swanning around the Himalayas. Why? Because he’s already seen Forest Hills and Greenpoint. So where is he? He is right now — a real schlep from Queens Boulevard — in the Kingdom of Bhutan.
I mean, isn’t everyone? Tired of humdrum downtown Madagascar and rural Swaziland, the guy sandwiched this between concerts in Australia, New Zealand and some AARP benefit in LA.
And like any true Scotsman he is in the Amankora hotel, which as we all know is in downtown Punakha. I mean, doesn’t everyone book there? It was built by my old friend Adrian Zecha who grew up during my years in Indonesia.
The hotel wrapped him in Bhutan’s traditional Gho plaid skirt and long socks where he joined New York travel specialist Geoffrey Weill doing Bhutanese chants and rhythmic kicks around a wooden brazier.
The Grand Concourse awaits him.
Home shopping
TODAY BFFs Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth launch their new home decor line on QVC apps. Colorful Beverly Hills-inspired pizzazz in carts, ottomans, trunks, apothecary jars, glass canisters, decorative pillows, throw blankets. Geode, marble and acrylic accents from $48 to $298.
Tori was to do personal p.r. for it but her child needed her and mommy-side came before business-side.
Now hear this
Everybody has a podcast. A lifer up the river has a podcast. My friend’s plumber’s cousin’s ex-wife’s uncle has two. On Bill Maher’s a guest said: “Every woman shares some version of: ‘I meet a guy, he’s cute, then he opens his mouth and I lose interest.’ All women have a version of that — and no men do.”
What to do with this wisdom, I don’t know. Just thought I’d share it.
Fashion show?
I recently reported some theaters are moving. Like B’way’s St. James, Walter Kerr, August Wilson, Eugene O’Neill. Changing ownership from Jujamcyn to the Ambassador Theatre Group. Question is, que pasa with Jordan Roth who ran Jujamcyn. Answer: Maybe could be fashion. He wants to be Anna Wintour.
Novel idea
Our DA who flaggs in all but carving his mustache into a facial parenthesis had a worker named Mark Pomerantz. Pomerantz wrote the 650th book about NY investigating Trump. Killers and dope peddlers go free but Bragg’s rumbling about legal action, which is the kind of thing that makes a one-day seller into a Book of the Month hit. Meanwhile, Bragg continues to practice as a proctologist.
Edgy epitaphs
How about famous last words.
Groucho Marx: “This is no way to live.”
Voltaire: “Now is not the time to be making new enemies.”
Humphrey Bogart: “I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis.” Conrad Hilton: “Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.”
And someday maybe Joe Biden’s: “Really? I was president?”
And in these hectic days let us all remember the immortal words of Cicero who lived downtown in a walk-up and said: “Listen, never buy a television set from a man who’s out of breath.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.