Sex & Relationships

Amanda Trenfield left her husband of 14 years for a man she met once, then he ghosted her

A woman who left her husband of 14 years for a man she only met once has revealed the three words that saw her world come crashing down.

Amanda Trenfield has written a memoir called When A Soulmate Says No, detailing how she met a man at a group dinner during a work conference she attended with her husband – and quickly fell for him.

After ending her marriage and reaching out to the man a month after, he initially agreed to meet Trenfield while she was in town for a funeral.

However, in an extract and interview with Mamamia, the Sydney, Australia woman revealed the next day she received an email from the man revealing he no longer wanted to meet.

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Amanda Trenfield
Amanda Trenfield met the man at a work conference. Instagram/Amanda Trenfield
Amanda Trenfield
Amanda Trenfield wrote a book detailing her experience. Instagram/Amanda Trenfield
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Amanda Trenfield
Amanda Trenfield said the man initially agreed to see her but then backed out. Instagram/Amanda Trenfield
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“The next morning, I received a message. It was brief, unemotive. He’d thought about my proposition and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to catch up or stay in touch,” Trenfield revealed in her memoir.

“He declared he didn’t want to ‘mess with my situation’. Oh, and as a final sign-off he said, ‘look after yourself’. I was devastated.”

She said she couldn’t let it go, drafting an incredibly vulnerable reply that made her want to run and hide, before hitting send.

Trenfield was devastated when, as she was at the airport following the conclusion of her trip, she still hadn’t heard from him.

She cried as she wrote in her journal: “I clearly wasn’t OK. I was heartbroken. My soul had been smashed into a million pieces.

“But I had to move forward. Somehow, I had to move forward.”

As part of moving forward, over a two-year period, she documented her seven stages of dealing with the devastating blow.

The first was getting ‘back To basics’ and rediscovering things she loved, such as music, before moving on to things that would help her understand her connection to the man she’d left her husband for through discovering spirituality.

Trenfield also examined her relationships with friends and the opposite sex, after being conditioned in a culture where she was supposed to grow up, get married and have kids.

She said it left her with the idea that she wasn’t “complete” without a partner. Again, she looked at alternative methods of healing from what she had subconsciously taken on.

“Meeting him lit the spark within me to begin the exploration of my own soul. While diving deeper and deeper into the waters of my quest, I was introduced to the world of Soul Energy – soul contracts, soulmates, kindred spirits and Twin Flames,” she said.