A Virginia couple who couldn’t decide whose last name to take post-wedding left the momentous life decision up to fate — and the flip of a coin.
Collin Hansen, a 25-year-old software engineer, proposed to Pearl Lee, a 28-year-old teacher, in November 2021, but both realized that they would each be the final member of their families to carry on their last name. Pearl was also concerned that her students could be confused by a change to her husband’s family name.
The couple — who met while working slow Friday night shifts at their college library — knew they wanted to spend their lives together but struggled to decide whose name to take.
The Leesburg pair hadn’t reached a decision by the time they were set to walk down the aisle on March 26, 2022. But instead of trying to compromise, the couple opted to have their officiant flip a coin at the end of their nuptials to decide their fate. Whoever won the coin toss would also fill out the change-of-name paperwork to ease the impact of the loss.
Pearl told Insider she heard the idea on the “Freakonomics” podcast and “the idea stuck” because she “thought it was really funny.”
It also fit well into their relationship dynamic. “We flip coins a lot,” Collin said, explaining that it helps them realize what they really want.
A guest at the Lee-Hansen wedding shared a video on TikTok showing the moment the coin was tossed and the couple was formally introduced — as Mr. and Mrs. Hansen.
The clip of the decision-making tactic went viral, gathering 1.8 million views. However, Pearl and Collin had no idea that their moment was so popular until friends and family began messaging them while they were on their honeymoon.
“It was honestly just so ironic that the thing that we’d get our 15 minutes of fame for was a coin flip,” Pearl said.
“Their coin toss really resonated with me, and given the amazing number of comments posted about the video, apparently it resonated with lots of others as well,” Alyssa Danielle, who shared the video, told Insider. “I think the reason is that it’s a more equitable way of deciding the last name when you get married, instead of just assuming that the man in the relationship is the one who gets to keep his name.”
“In this day and age, with hyphenated names and women not changing their name at all, this is a nice way to uphold an old tradition of the name change, and at the same time modernizing that concept by essentially leveling the playing field,” she added.
The video also resonated with many viewers, who left hundreds of comments loving the idea or sharing how others have decided whose name to take.
“Wait that’s hilarious,” commented one viewer, while others added, “Honestly best idea I’ve ever seen!!!!!” and “This is how it should be done.”
Some noted how Pearl’s face seemed to drop after initially giggling when her new name was announced, but the Hansens aren’t the only couple who left the decision up to fate.
“I know a couple whose families had a paintball match to decide! Winning side determined the last name,” a commenter shared of one unique decision-making method, while someone else weighed in with another sporty story: “One of my professors had a kickball game between her and his family the day of the rehearsal to determine last name.”
It is becoming more and more common for couples to get creative and opt out of automatically taking the groom’s last name — but it’s still not quite mainstream. A 2018 study in the Journal of Family Issues found that just 3% of men changed their names after marriage.