As soon as we sober up, the Irish will fight the woke attack on the Notre Dame leprechaun

There are very few ways to insult the Irish.

A weak pour, perhaps. A wake without insulting the dead.

Not even the go-to joke about the Great Potato Famine of the 19th century — “Why didn’t they just go fishing?” — will elicit ire.

But tell the Irish they should be insulted? That’s another story.

Apparently, some new poll conducted by a company nobody’s ever heard of — Quality Logo Products, anyone? — has found that Notre Dame’s beloved mascot, the leprechaun, is the fourth-most offensive in the nation.

Not even No. 1, huh? I mean, if you’re condemning ethnic clichés and insults, I would think equating my people to a drunken green dwarf would top the list.

But that’s cool. The Irish are used to defeat. All kinds, actually: Self-defeat. Stopping after one more round. The unwinnable silent war against Bono’s ego.

Ireland’s football team took such a beating last March that star player Seamus Coleman said, “Yeah, I’m embarrassed . . . [it’s] an embarrassing night for Irish football . . . I apologize to everyone at home watching.”

See? The Irish know what’s worth embarrassment. We have no problem admitting it. This mascot kerfuffle isn’t it.

Consider this: The Fighting Irish chose a miniature male fairy, dressed like a drunken pilgrim, as their mascot. That’s funny!

I know, I know: Humor has no place in woketivism.

But self-deprecation is our default setting. It’s hard to get us angry. There’s certainly been enough real generational suffering — Cromwell’s genocide, the Troubles, Riverdance — that we know it when we see it.

As a general rule, the Irish do not indulge in self-pity. We abhor it.

I once had the pleasure of interviewing the late, great Don Rickles. When I told him my name, he howled.

“Where’s your father right now?” he asked. “On a barstool?”

I laughed till I cried. Today, of course, Rickles would be canceled.

Woketivists, please: Leave the leprechaun alone. He represents happiness, good luck, and charm. These are good things! We like them!

What’s truly terrible here is the Fighting Irish and their passing offense.

Let’s give this poll the only thing it deserves: a true Irish goodbye.