Growing up in West Caldwell, NJ, Jennifer Cook wouldn’t play pretend with her Barbies. Instead of making up social scenarios for her dolls, she’d use her toys to recite grim stories she’d heard on the news.
Though Cook, 45, would go on to be the social chair of her sorority and a cheerleader in college, interacting with others didn’t come naturally to her. In elementary school, “I distinctly remember asking my mom how to make a friend,” Cook told The Post. “She just kind of looked at me.”
Decades later, she’d learn the source of her struggles. At age 35, Cook was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
Though most diagnoses are made during childhood, some cases slip through the cracks. This week, “Prison Break” actor Wentworth Miller revealed that he was diagnosed with ASD last year at age 48. In 2019, comedian Amy Schumer said her husband, chef Chris Fischer, learned as an adult that he is on the autism spectrum.
Cook, a mom of three, received her own diagnosis as her oldest daughter, now 18, was being evaluated for ASD. Her sons would also be diagnosed soon after. While explaining her children’s autistic traits to their doctors, “I looked back at my own life and went, ‘Wait a minute,’” Cook said.
Maya Boustani, a psychologist and assistant professor at California’s Loma Linda University, has worked with people diagnosed with autism as adults. She said there are a few different reasons behind these late discoveries. She said there are a few different reasons behind these late discoveries.
For starters, some autistic traits that doctors now screen for were not part of protocol decades ago. “There are probably lots of people out there walking around without a diagnosis,” Boustani told The Post.
“Masking,” a term for when someone mimics a social behavior that doesn’t come naturally to them, can make a person with autism’s social difficulties less obvious to others. “They learn early on how to adjust their way of communicating in a way that fits neurotypical expectations,” Boustani explained.
Gender is also a factor. Because ASD is more common in men and can present differently in women, doctors can misdiagnose women with bipolar disorder or other conditions, Boustani said.
Though Cook, who now lives in Charlotte, NC, had some trademark autistic traits, like sensory issues, special interests and difficulty detecting deception, the adults in her life chalked up her “quirkiness” to her high intelligence and the fact that she was an only child.
Laura Zdan, 36, had an almost identical experience to Cook’s. Also a mom of three, she was diagnosed in 2019 while her children were undergoing evaluation for ASD.
Though she was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder at 12, “I still always felt like there was more to the story,” Zdan told The Post. Delving into research about ASD for her children flicked on the light switch.
“I could do really advanced algebra at a young age, but couldn’t do basic math,” the Philly-based organizer and podcaster recalled. “When I was a kid I had a million friends but no close friends,” she added.
From her podcast “Not Neurotypical” and posting on YouTube about her journey, Zdan has met other adult women who hit roadblocks trying to receive a diagnosis. Some people “assume if you’d made it this far, you’re probably fine,” she said.
For Cook, finally receiving a diagnosis from her psychologist was “a great relief. It made so much sense. Answered so many questions,” she said. She has since written seven books on the subject, including her 2018 memoir “Autism in Heels.”
Knowing she’s on the spectrum has helped Zdan better connect and understand her kids. “I think it’s great for autistic kids to see someone who’s like, ‘I’m autistic, it’s OK,’” she said.
“It doesn’t change anything you [can] do.”