Turkeys can be downright foul when they come across a human, which is why a Massachusetts town dogged by a rash of wild gobblers is doling out self-defense tips.
Maybe the most important to remember if you live in Wenham, population 5,300: Don’t be intimidated by an aggressive bird.
“You should threaten or scare bold turkeys using a hose, a leashed dog or loud noises,” animal control officer Steve Kavanaugh advised on the police department website, sharing the wisdom of the state wildlife division.
Not-so-pleasant toms on Pleasant Street spurred Kavanaugh to morph into the town Dear Abby. Statewide, the number of wild turkeys totals 35,000.
Kavanaugh’s other words of wisdom:
• Don’t feed turkeys because feathers could fly if they grow tame and don’t get dinner with all the trimmings.
• Clean out your bird feeder because toms love to nosh on seeds that fall to the ground.
• Keep an eye on your garden because gobblers love their veggies.
• And, finally, cover your windows and any shiny yard do-dads because turkeys are vain and like to admire their reflections.
But Kavanaugh just may have left his best advice to his last sentence: Steer clear of wild turkeys altogether.