Man steals 3-foot-tall, 40-pound dildo from Las Vegas sex shop

Maybe he was too hard up to afford it.

A hardened crook pulled off a cockamamie crime — by swiping a giant dildo from a Las Vegas sex shop, according to TMZ.

The masked man was captured on video as he strode into the Déjà Vu Love Boutique in Sin City on July 14 and grabbed the massive 3-foot-tall, 40-pound member standing on the sales floor, the outlet reported.

He got it up over his right shoulder and nonchalantly left the premises, crammed the dildo into his vehicle and drove off.

“Sadly, the pandemic has encouraged even the scummiest of scumbags to steal the strangest products from innocent businesses,” staffer Ryan Carlson told The Post.

“This landmark item in our store is worth nearly $2,000, so if you happen to see a 3-foot penis sitting around, please turn in the 6-foot-tall dick who stole it. We can only hope that this thief finds Jesus and returns the item or the law finds him and throws him in prison where he belongs!”

Another store worker, Laura, who declined to give her last name, told HuffPost that the formidable phallus is named The Moby, presumably in homage to Herman Melville’s classic “Moby-Dick.”

It’s a steal on Amazon, where it’s listed at $586 as “the world’s largest retail dildo.”

“There may even be a soul out there brave or talented enough to use Moby as a traditional dildo,” the listing says.