‘Last Christmas’ review: It’s the coal in our stockings
It’s a shame that George Michael’s final major artistic contribution to the world is the crummy movie “Last Christmas.” In its shoddy attempt to make a splash in the British romantic-comedy genre, it amounts to nothing more than a careless whisper.
A dragon-less Emilia Clarke plays Kate, a hard-living 26-year-old in London, who loves Michael’s music and uses one-night stands to secure a bed for the evening. As she’s kicked to the curb by one hookup’s peeved girlfriend, Kate yells, “Why is my life so s–t?!”
Perhaps it’s because she works for a Christmas kitsch shop in Covent Garden during the day and unsuccessfully auditions for West End shows at night. Does she have a passion for theater, or did she go to acting school? Unclear. A swarm of moths have made a meal of Emma Thompson’s script.
Just as her friends start giving up on this hot mess, Kate meets Tom (Henry Golding, cardboard) outside her shop and begins a flirtation. The sweet guy wears a khaki coat and gray shirt, always, and is on a bike, always. He doesn’t have a cellphone and disappears for days on end. None of this strikes her as weird, and they go on a series of spontaneous walks through narrow alleyways.
Although the actors have no chemistry, Kate’s life begins to change for the better. She starts helping the homeless and reconnects with her family of Yugoslav immigrants, including her mother Petra (Thompson). Her ilk becomes the writer’s way of shoehorning in a Brexit subplot in which immigrants are living in fear of their futures in the UK. “They hate us! They send us all back!” screams Petra, who came to England in 1999. This is a bit rich coming from Thompson, who is about as Yugoslav as a taco.
Clarke is appealing in that it’s nice to see her make actual facial expressions and have a personality. She does not, however, set fire to the screen as Daenerys did to King’s Landing. The supporting characters, including Michelle Yeoh as her boss and Thompson’s Petra, are unbelievable and overblown.
“Last Christmas” isn’t particularly funny, or romantic. And the film’s twist ending, which many viewers accurately guessed after watching the trailer, is idiotic and poorly explained. Let’s just say the movie takes Michael’s “Last Christmas” lyrics a tad too literally.