Pretty much every woman knows what it feels like to be mansplained.
For the uninitiated, mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing way. Lots of men do it and it’s super annoying.
But more men are realizing that this kind of behavior pisses women off and they want to fix it.
British researcher, author and designer Kim Goodwin was recently asked by two male colleagues how they could tell if they were mansplaining to a woman.
“Both are experts who are often asked to explain concepts to colleagues outside their fields. Both were concerned about those explanations being taken the wrong way,” Goodwin wrote for the BBC.
“I wondered: Is it really so hard to tell the difference between condescending or simply explaining-while-male?”
So she made this very handy chart for all men who are concerned about their potentially mansplainy behavior.
In her piece for the BBC, Goodwin went into further detail:
“Do they want the explanation?
If someone asks you a question, explain away! Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re someone’s teacher or manager. Explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful. Conversation is a good place to start building the habit of consent.
Are you making bad assumptions about competence?
Explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just wasting everyone’s time. You may, regardless of your intent, undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence. You also run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.
How does bias affect your interpretation of the above?
Both questions are complicated by sexism and other kinds of bias. We’re all taught gender bias in behavior and communication from an early age, with boys and girls being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school. We all like to think we treat people fairly, but men often assume women are less competent and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence.”
Fellas, take note.