Can anyone other than Coach Nostradamus really tell what is real and what is not real in the NFL after Week 3?
Of course not.
But that won’t stop me from trying:
Real: Chiefs running back Kareem Hunt softens the blow of losing safety Eric Berry.
“He’ll run to a point and cross your face and make you miss and break an arm-tackle — a lot of things I used to do actually as a runner,” Tiki Barber told Serby Says. “Instead of try to be shifty and juke you out, you run at angles, and he has the speed to breakaway from guys and it’s deceptive.”
Real: The Falcons apparently don’t believe in Super Bowl hangovers. Maybe it’s their Navy SEALS training. Sometimes it is better to be lucky than good. Ask Golden Tate and the Lions.
Not real: The horrific Patriots defense (31.7 point allowed per game). You don’t think Bill Belichick and Matt Patricia will fix this?
Not real: Amari Cooper (10 catches, 101 yards, one touchdown). Give him one more Mr. Invisible game against the No Fly Zone then watch him break out.
Real: The 0-3 Bengals are lost, and Marvin Lewis is Dead Coach Walking.
Not real: Big Blue’s run defense. “Snacks” Harrison’s got this, right?
Real: Ben McAdoo’s rushing attack. Heavy-legged instead of heavy-handed.
Not real: Tom Brady won’t miss Julian Edelman. He’ll truly miss him in the playoffs.
Real: Vikings rookie RB Dalvin Cook was a second-round steal. Adrian Who?
“He’s probably more like LaDainian [Tomlinson],” Barber said. “LaDainian was thick; Dalvin Cook is thick. He’s so good as a receiver, and as a runner … he’s created this dynamic that I think puts the Minnesota Vikings as one of the favorites in the [NFC] North.”
Not real: J.J. Watt is a phony. Ask post Hurricane-Harvey Houston.
Real: The Giants should have drafted Laremy Tunsil. How’s their current left tackle looking? But to be fair, no one could have blamed them at the time once Tunsil’s gas mask fiasco unfolded on draft night. And they like Eli Apple, who flopped in Philadelphia.
Not real: Dak Prescott will suffer a Sophomore Jinx. He’s a born leader oozing with moxie.
Real: Jared Goff (118.2 QB rating) is a different quarterback because Sean McVay is the quarterback whisperer. He’s looked more like the top-overall pick of the 2016 draft and closed the gap on Carson Wentz, the second-overall pick.
Not real: Christian Hackenberg will be the Jets quarterback in 2018. Honestly, who knows if he’ll even be in the league at that point?
Not real: Brandon Marshall is shot. He didn’t play enough over the summer with Eli Manning.
“He’s out of rhythm with Eli,” Barber said. “That trust isn’t there yet.”
Real: The NFL game isn’t too big for Deshaun Watson. He might not be a pocket passer, but his leadership and intangibles give Bill O’Brien more hope than he had with Tom Savage and Brock Osweiler.
Not real: Cam Newton says, “It’s no time to panic.” When you’re in the same division as the Falcons, and your franchise quarterback’s surgical shoulder has cost him miles on his fastball, it might soon be. That’s why rookie RB Christian McCaffrey will be a godsend.
“He’s more like Marshall Faulk than anybody,” Barber said, “but Marshall was thicker and was more of a runner than [McCaffrey] is currently. But his ability to be a wide receiver is something that you can’t discount, and it gives you an advantage if you’re a playcaller.”
Real: Adrian Peterson is no longer All Day. But at least his yards per carry average has jumped from 1.9 last season to 3.3 this season.
Not real: Mini-McAdoo has gotten a makeover as Mini-Andy Reid.
Real: If the Jets aren’t careful, they’ll lose Sam Darnold to the Browns. Sacrificial lamb Hue Jackson is off to a 1-18 start as he faces his former boss Marvin Lewis. Hue might want to ask him how in the hell does one last 15 seasons as a head coach in one place? Christopher Johnson’s Jets shouldn’t sleep on the 49ers either.
Not real: Ben Roethlisberger’s early struggles will end once Le’Veon Bell (3.5 yards per carry) chips off his holdout rust and deep threat WR Martavis Bryant emerges following his 2016 season suspension.
Real: It might take a while for Ravens fans to be wacko for Joe Flacco. Their QB missed the preseason (back), has completed just 13 passes to his wide receivers, and his 65.2 QB rating is lower than anyone not named DeShone Kizer. His pop-gun attack has averaged 5.2 yards per passing attempt.
Not real: The Chargers are not an 0-3 team with Philip Rivers firing away and Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram rushing the passer.
Real: The Bears will need games postponed by lightning rather than delayed. Not to mention Mitchell Trubisky relieving Mike Glennon sooner rather than later.
Real: Archie Manning, who took a beating, might wince watching Carson Palmer, who has been hit a league-high 27 times, try to survive behind the Cardinals’ battered offensive line.
Real: The Giants could have used Broncos rookie left tackle Garret Bowles, who will need help Sunday against Khalil Mack but is Pro Football Focus’ 13th best run-blocking tackle.
Not real: Roger Goodell is underpaid. There is truly hope for all Jets interns.
Not real: Tom Coughlin has already ordered Alejandro Villanueva jerseys for all his grandchildren.
Not real: Sheldon Richardson feels terribly for 0-3 Brandon Marshall.
Real: This is the Year of the Running Quarterback — 13 have rushed at least 10 times — led by Tyrod Taylor (24), Russell Wilson (21), DeShone Kizer (17), Marcus Mariota (16) and Deshaun Watson (15).
Not real: I need more evidence before I conclude that Blake Bortles (six TDs, two INTs) has been cured.
Real: Chuck Pagano has no shot at keeping his job if Andrew Luck can’t return until November. Jon Gruden, anyone?