If a tree fell in the forest and hit you in the head, would you make a sound?
Well, throw another extraordinary ending to an extraordinary game on the ol’ Can’t-Miss/Missed-It heap, a growing pile caused by sports’ addiction to TV money.
The historic buzzer-beating OT end to the historic UConn women’s winning streak at 111, was widely lost to at least half the country’s population as it began here Friday at 10 p.m., and ended Saturday morning at 12:16.
Fittingly, it was played on and for ESPN, where significant games played by Eastern Time Zone teams now regularly go to their midnight deaths, surrounded by friends and family — those still awake — but otherwise alone.
To be honest, I saw the end of regulation and OT only because I awoke in time, thus performing a Half-Mike Francesa — honest enough to admit I fell asleep. But that was less a matter of luck than of an aging bladder.
The game was more shocker than classic. In its last 10 minutes a bunch of dubious calls, even more dubious coaching — with the game tied and the shot clock off, neither UConn nor Mississippi St. played for the last shot — and a lengthy turn-back-the-hands-of-time replay review delay that eventually gave UConn two free throws and the ball for a flagrant foul which appeared nothing worse than an accident.
To make time-of-day matters worse, Friday’s first game was Stanford, a West Coast team, versus South Carolina. But the UConn game was deemed to have the most national appeal, so it began at a time when people of all ages in the Eastern Time Zone began to feel the touch of Mr. Sandman.
Heck, when play-by-play man Dave O’Brien, at 12:16 a.m. shouted, “One of the biggest upsets in history!” he likely caused sleeping thousands to roll over.
But out of sight, out of mind. And if the NCAA and ESPN don’t mind what they did Friday night/Saturday morning, then its biggest games and otherwise most memorable games deserve to be played out of sight.
The men’s side: CBS continues to leave important NCAA stories unreported in order to make good news out of no news. Saturday’s first game, Gonzaga-South Carolina, was refereed by John Higgins, the ref in last Sunday’s North Carolina-Kentucky game who received death threats. But what was hard to miss, CBS either missed or chose to ignore.
Both UNC-Oregon and Gonzaga-South Carolina were stretched and altered by replay reviews that took too long to confirm obvious possession calls. The final two minutes of each took 13 minutes to complete — 26 minutes to play four.
Beyond those excesses, strategies teams use to save timeouts have regularly become irrelevant as last-two-minutes replay stoppages give both teams all the strategizing time they need, not to mention time to discuss the next selection for the Book Club. Even sustained replay rulings radically change the games.
Jim Nantz made for a smile when, at the end of Gonzaga-South Carolina, indelicately characterizing the game as “A street fight in Phoenix!” Funny, Nantz was assigned to a street fight — the Steelers-Bengals playoff game prison riot in January of last year — but didn’t notice a thing.
Nantz finally got around to a brief mention of the years-long UNC academic scandal that enabled “Coach Roy” Williams’ successes, including two national championship. Nantz said UNC had been the target of “swirling innuendo.” No, it hasn’t. Those are swirling facts. UNC maintained players’ eligibility through A’s and B’s in no-show courses.
In fact, for all of CBS’ useless stat graphics, it failed to post a good one: “UNC has spent $18 million just in legal fees in academic fraud scandal.”
Despite phony between-games belly laughs from the CBS/Turner studio panel, the outtakes from those Charles Barkley/Samuel L. Jackson/Spike Lee Capital One commercials were no funnier than the repetitive, unfunny ads that made the cut.
And, despite three episodes, Saturday, of opposing players helping each other to their feet, none made the CBS replay package. However, the moment South Carolina’s Duane Notice hit a 3, CBS aired a replay — in slow motion — of Notice making the immodest, disturbing three-to-the-head gesture.
See, kids? That’s how to play basketball! Now go back to bed.
When getting it right goes wrong
It didn’t take long to make an extra long baseball game. Sunday’s Yanks-Rays opener was unplugged in the top of the first for a replay review of a bang-bang at first, Matt Holliday called out.
While YES’s David Cone saw conclusive proof to overturn the call, the delay ended with the umps sustaining the call.
Top of the second, another replay review, this of a safe call of Starlin Castro at first. This time Cone said he was out, but the safe call stood.
Remember that the next time Cone says he likes replay “because it gets it right.”
The 8½-inning game ran 3:21.
Even by Mike Francesa’s exalted presence, tonight he stands on the precipice of even greater greatness.
In February, Francesa jumped on Gonzaga’s only regular-season loss to declare it kaput, just a mediocre team. Then he declared there’s no way Gonzaga would be a one-seed. Next, as a one-seed, Francesa insisted would not get past the second round.
Tonight, Gonzaga can win the national title. And if the Zags lose? Well, he told you so back in February!
Sharpe shuts down Bayless idiocy
Humanitarian of the Week: FS1’s Shannon Sharpe for ending one of those banal imported-from-ESPN Skip Bayless debates — should Joe Mixon be drafted before Christian McCaffrey based on bench-press strength — with a reminder that “footballs weigh 15 ounces; they’re not bowling balls.”
Comcast customers Friday celebrated “Cable Neglect Throwback Night,” as Pens-Rangers didn’t appear until OT — apparently when a tech first arrived to flip the “on” switch. The night of nostalgic neglect included at least one Comcast phone rep blaming the problem on MSG Network, which, given that other systems carried the game, was nonsense.
Now Jeremy Shockey’s a mentor? He’s going to mentor David Njoku, a likely first-round pick and fellow former Miami TE? What’s Shockey going to teach, how to showboat after a 2-yard catch?
Best live coverage of any sport remains golf. Thursday, although Jason Gore was six-over and 14 back in the first round, NBC/GC cut to him just before he sank a bomb for a birdie! Astonishing!
With an NHL team headed for Las Vegas, reader Joe Dobbies has an idea for the public address man during shootouts: “New shooter, comin’ out! New shooter!”