Have you just had an experience with a man or woman that left your head spinning?
You tell your friends, “They were so into me at first, then things got weird, they were unreliable, they hurt me without realising it, there was so much drama, etc.”
It could be you dated a sociopath.
When someone asks me what one is, I mention the Max Branning character in EastEnders. Max can be as charming as, well, Prince Charming.
But he’s focused on fulfilling his own desires to the expense of all who cross his path.
Even his children’s needs come a distant second to his.
And he could win an Olympic medal for lying without batting an eyelash.
Sociopaths lie and cheat as easily as you and I breathe.
They don’t feel bad after an argument; they don’t “do” remorse.
It’s like they have a few key “tools” missing from the emotional toolbox the rest of us have.
Statistics vary — some say 1 percent of the population is sociopathic and others say 4 percent.
So if you’re single and dating, you’re likely to come across one … or more.
Here are some key signs to watch for:
They’re full of excuses.
Even if you manage to catch them lying, they’ve a way of “massaging” things so they come out looking OK.
They have an excuse for everything.
Unreliability is their middle name.
But very swiftly they start letting you down.
You pull them up on their unreliability, and they swear they’ll change. Don’t hold your breath.
They come on strong.
Sociopaths literally charm the pants off you.
Their focus is very good, and if they want you, they’re totally focused on you.
This is initially incredibly flattering.
Wait until they’re bored with you — their attitude will change very quickly.
They seem to make a lot of mistakes
As you get to know them, you notice they make a lot of mistakes, and they don’t seem to learn from these.
There’s often drama around them.
But of course it’s the other person’s fault.
They swear how ‘bad’ that person is, how useless they are and why they‘re to blame.
They seem exciting
Sociopaths often take risks, sometimes it seems like they’re exercising bad judgement. But it can make things exciting. It’s easy to get drawn into the excitement and buzz they can generate.
They do things at the expense of others
While they’re into you – when you’re first dating – you may not personally be harmed by them.
But you notice they’ve little regard for others.
They seem not to care if they’ve upset others, or they laugh at other’s misfortunes.
They accuse you of being paranoid
When you’ve caught them out in one too many lies, they’ll turn the tables.
And they’ll say you’re paranoid.
Sociopaths are incredibly cunning at making you appear to be in the wrong.
Ultimately if single and dating, listen to your intuition when it tells you this new person doesn’t stack up.
Don’t ignore it, otherwise you’ll get tangled up in their selfish, scheming sociopathic ways.