The Grammys red carpet is supposed to be outrageous, dammit.
After all, this is the place where J.Lo made her career on a Versace plunge and Gaga once arrived in an egg.
But last night, the Grammys failed to excite.
Your first clue? When E!’s presenters gushed over Demi Lovato’s Mob-wife-at-a-funeral look as “business fancy.”
What is it about the music industry’s Oscars that they get over-run by an epidemic of ballgowns and strange ’80s hair? And we’re not even talking about Johnny Depp, who seemed to still be growing out his Willy Wonka ’do. It’s like no one’s quite sure whether to look professional or provocative.
Instead, degrees of nakedness passed for daring. This year it was the leg bomb- — or, rather, more of a leg-off. In this corner, Taylor Swift, who’s been experimenting with the no-pants look of late and came up with a new one: tunnel of shame. In the other, Ciara, challenging the side-boob trend with side cheek.
Then there was 19-year-old Zendaya, who tried a normcore tuxedo look but caught Kajagoogoo’s mullet on VH-1 Classic and went with that, too.
Thank God for artists like Florence Welch and Lady Gaga. The latter finally returned to form in a custom Marc Jacobs technicolor dreamcoat and some crazy red platforms, taking her new David Bowie tattoo to heart: “There’s a starman, waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds.”