Thankfully, another Golden Globes ceremony is behind us, and not a moment too soon.
The worst possible thing that could have happened happened and it went down like this:
1. Lady Gaga’s win
The Hollywood Foreign Press, guttersnipes that they are, nominated Lady Gaga as Best Actress in a limited series or TV movie with real actresses obviously because they wanted her star power at the ceremony. Ridiculous and unworthy as the nomination was (for her vogueing on “American Horror Story: Hotel”), we understand the craven planet where this organization lives. But then they went ahead and GAVE her the prize. Now, Lady Gaga, who outrageously compared this moment to Cher winning an Oscar for “Moonstruck,” thinks she can act. This single moment INVALIDATED the entire evening. As Ricky Gervais wisely pointed out at the outset, the prize, given out by “nice, confused, old journalists,” means very little. Now it means nothing. NOTHING.
2. Jamie Foxx
Mr. Foxx, a Golden Globe winner for “Ray,” gave out the award for Best Original Score. His favorite score, “Straight Outta Compton,” was not nominated. In a moment so poorly chosen, you might have thought Kanye West was on stage, he announced the nominees and instead of reading the winner, he said, “The winner is ‘Straight Outta Compton,’” while flashing the envelope at the audience. The winner’s name — Ennio Morricone, who did the score for “The Hateful Eight” — was clearly printed on the inside. Really bad form.
3. Here’s an image we can live without
In his monologue, Ricky Gervais mentioned he has won several Golden Globes and said he keeps one of them next to his bed. We were uncomfortable. Rather than leave the worst to our imaginations, Gervais actually said that he puts his Golden Globe up his — forget it. We’ll let you listen to the clip.
4. Jonah Hill
What has happened? Once a character actor with a growing reputation with two Oscar nominations, Jonah Hill did himself no favors when he came on to give out an award with Channing Tatum, dressed as the bear in “The Revenant.” Most of his on-stage patter had to be bleeped out, so he was out of control and it was just past 5 p.m. PST. Next stop on this career: a guest spot on “Brooklyn Nine-Nine.”
5. Denzel Washington
After an elaborate, cliche-ridden introduction by Tom Hanks and an extended film clip package showing nearly every movie he ever made, Denzel Washington came on stage, to a standing ovation, to receive the Cecil B. DeMille award, which, in Hollywood, is like winning the Nobel Prize. People were moved. It’s Denzel. He blazed a trail. He’s a pioneer. He opened doors for other African-American actors. He’s an icon. He’s also blind. Poor old Denzel could not read the list of all the people he wanted to thank because he forgot to bring his glasses. His wife, Pauletta, couldn’t even help him because she forgot hers too. Epic fail.
There were good moments…
1. Sylvestor Stallone’s standing ovation
If anyone doubted that Sly is on his way to an Oscar win for playing Rocky Balboa in “Creed,” the standing ovation he received for winning Best Supporting Actor in a movie serves as a giant wake-up call.
2. Aziz Ansari
A nominee in the category of Best Actor in a Comedy, Anzari improvised as the names were announced. He held up a copy of a hardback book with a jacket that read “Losing to Jeffrey Tambor With Dignity” by Aziz Ansari. He actually lost to surprise winner Gael Garcia Bernal, star of “Mozart in the Jungle.”
3. Ricky Gervais’ question for Mel Gibson
Warning: Explicit language
The most shocking moment of the night happened after Ricky Gervais introduced Mel Gibson, who introduced a trailer for “Mad Max: Fury Road.” After Gibson made an unseemly crack about the sight of Gervais reminding him of a colonoscopy, Gervais came back on stage and said, “Can I ask you a question?” The entire question was bleeped out. But the look on Alan Cumming’s horrified face was priceless. To read what the question was, check the Golden Globes Twitter feed.