New York women, it’s time to embrace your inner bitch.
And that means ditching the drugs.
“Too many of us are out of sync with our bodies and our environment, and that disconnect is making us sick, fat, tired, wired and miserable,” Dr. Julie Holland writes in “Moody Bitches.”
Holland, who previously chronicled her years working in a psychiatric ER in “Weekends at Bellevue,” doesn’t advise a wholesale rejection of Big Pharma; she just wants to point out that our biology is great at giving us red flags, so we shouldn’t be so quick to reach for that take-the-edge-off Xanax.
“We are designed to be dynamic, cyclical and, yes, moody,” writes Holland, who explains the female body is prone to more hormonal — and, thus, emotional — variability than the male one. “The problem is not our emotionality; the problem is that we are being persuaded to medicate it away.”
We’re all familiar with antidepressant ads, which Holland says are “overwhelmingly marketed to women” in a modern-day update of those hoary old diagnoses of hysteria and vague female malaise.
Today, though, women are expected to cheerfully juggle increasingly long work hours, the demands of family and the ever-expanding neediness of an always-on social-media network (“I wish I were kidding . . . The ‘after’ picture for one antidepressant shows a woman now on meds, happily texting someone on her phone”) alongside our bodies’ constantly changing hormonal states, with nary a complaint or a moment of downtime for crabbiness and Cabernet.
Nobody wants to be labeled a . . . well, the title says it all.
The problem is, those moods are the ones that tell us we need more sleep, more (and better) sex, to eat differently, to change our lifestyles, even to seek out specific kinds of partners.
Without our biology to guide us, she says, we’re adrift in a numbed-out haze that, in the long run, will be a lot more harmful than some static with a co-worker or a significant other caused by mid-monthly bitchiness.
Yes, PMS. Holland argues that it’s time to ditch the Pill and tackle outside causes of stress.
“During the rest of the month you put up with all kinds of bull that you won’t tolerate the week before your period,” she writes. “I say, let it be a lesson to you. Perhaps you should be putting up with less all month long.”
Sure, there are instances where we’re unduly sweating the small stuff — but on a larger scale, she says, “the thoughts and feelings that come up during this phase of your cycle are real.”
Birth-control pills distort your biology in other ways, she notes. “Being on the Pill affects the way women process pheromones in terms of important genetic compatibility issues,” meaning it can change the kind of man you’re attracted to. Not to mention “oral contraceptives can really cut into your sexual desire.”
The problem is not our emotionality; the problem is that we are being persuaded to medicate it away.
- Dr. Julie Holland
Holland bluntly recommends women looking for a partner try to go off these things, “or you can stay on this combination of medications and become a nun. Your call.”
More broadly, Holland wants women to make sure they’re using drugs judiciously — and that they’re aware of the far-reaching side effects they may have on big life decisions. Dating, for example, can be a very different experience for a woman who’s on an antidepressant like Zoloft, which can make her serotonin-enhanced brain less likely to feel hungry to seek out the right
type of mate for her, and her body less responsive to sexual pleasure.
The plain-spoken author sprinkles some unorthodox advice throughout the book, including the surprising finding that “breasts get saggier with a bra than without one.” Referencing a study that found ligaments in the breasts atrophy when “denied the benefits of gravity,” she goes on to recommend women limit their bra use — a move that might also help their moods.
Holland includes a user-friendly, opinionated appendix of prescription drugs, detailing which she likes and which she doesn’t. Ambien, unsurprisingly, is namechecked more than once throughout the book; though it’s been on the market for many years, the best-selling sleep aid only recently altered its recommended dosage for women, “as women metabolize the drug differently from men.”
She cites another study linking earlier death to frequent sleep-aid use, which “did leave me pretty shaken;” and though she still regularly doles Ambien out to stressed-out city-dwellers, she says she’s started recommending people try earplugs and eye masks before going the pharmaceutical route.
It’s a move that echoes the general tone of the book: Listen to your body before you drug it into submission, and try the natural route first.