Just like they drew it up — except the opposite.
These were the moments in sports this year that made us face-palm, baffling in their tone-deafness, regrettable in their inanity. They were the PR equivalents of a sure double-play ball rolling through the shortstop’s legs.
Here are our worst 10 sports #fails of 2014, hashtag optional:
-
1. Shaq's shameful selfie
Selfie crimes: Retired NBA great Shaquille O’Neal posted a photo on Instagram in April imitating a selfie posted by a disabled Michigan man afflicted with a rare genetic disorder. O’Neal said he was unaware Jahmel Binion had ectodermal dysplasia — which causes missing teeth and abnormal hair growth — and called the 23-year-old man to apologize. Binion sued O’Neal (and two others) in July for defamation, general negligence and an intentional infliction of emotional distress.
-
2. 50 Cent's first pitch
Sometimes, a video is worth all the words. Just watch the rapper’s disastrous southpaw delivery set a new standard for LOL-worthy celebrity first pitches.
-
3. Worst. Press. Conference. Ever.
Ray Rice and his now-wife, Janay, at a press conference earlier this year. AP Speaking publicly in May for the first time since his February arrest for striking his then-fiancee, Ravens running back Ray Rice — not knowing the depths of infamy that awaited — offered a half-hearted apology and the unfortunately worded cliche: “A failure is not getting knocked down, it’s not getting up.” And the Ravens, in an infamous tweet they only deleted months later, trumpeted how Janay Palmer “deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.”
-
4. Eric Decker's Twitter backfire
Jets wide receiver Eric Decker proved unprepared for the combination of Twitter snark and the bitterness of long-suffering Jets fans when he sent this innocent tweet in October, with Gang Green mired at 1-7 in the middle of a lost season.
Here’s a typical response:
Decker’s wife, the country singer Jessie James, leaped to play defense with this broadside against Decker’s detractors: “You think he really cares what y’all think haters? He’s laughing his ass alllll the way home…. Life is pretty good here. Can’t complain.”
-
5. Michael Pineda's dirty tricks
[mlbvideo id=”32324451″ width=”612″ height=”360″ /]
It wasn’t so silly when the Yankees’ Michael Pineda applied pine tar to the ball for an April 10 game against the Red Sox — though Pineda insisted it was “dirt,” his use of a foreign substance was dismissed by his opponents and others around baseball as common practice to enhance grip on cold nights. But when he had an obvious smudge of pine tar on his neck during an April 23 outing — against the same Red Sox! — umpires had no choice but to eject him and MLB authorities were practically forced to hand the immature righty a 10-game suspension.
-
6. Michigan's dazed and confused
Part of the reason Jim Harbaugh is now coaching Michigan’s football team traces back to late September, when then-Wolverines coach Brady Hoke left quarterback Shane Morris in a loss to Minnesota despite the sophomore exhibiting obvious concussion symptoms, woozy and wobbling after absorbing a brutal helmet-to-helmet hit. Hoke absurdly defended his decision, and the program did not backtrack until a middle-of-the-night statement from since-fired athletic director Dave Brandon more than 48 hours later: “In my judgment, there was a serious lack of communication that led to confusion on the sideline. Unfortunately, this confusion created a circumstance that was not in the best interest of one of our student-athletes.”
-
7. Forget something, Utah? Like the ball?
Sorry, Kaelin Clay, but DeSean Jackson called and he wants his mind-boggling gaffe back. The University of Utah receiver squandered a sure touchdown when he dropped the ball on the 1-yard line by going into a premature celebration — reminiscent of Jackson’s stunt in the pros. If not for Clay’s blunder, Oregon might not be in this week’s inaugural playoff semifinals — the Ducks went on to win after returning the fumble 99 yards for a score that tied the game at 7.
-
8. Rockets' jersey faux pas
The Rockets’ full-court press for free agent Carmelo Anthony in early July included a mock-up of Anthony wearing their No. 7 jersey. The only problem? That number belonged to Rockets point guard Jeremy Lin, a trade candidate whom Anthony had failed to co-exist with during their Knicks days. Rockets GM Daryl Morey was ice-cold on the matter: “I hate the sensitivity and that it creates some hurt feelings.” Lin tweeted a Bible verse about turning the other cheek. Anthony eventually re-signed with the Knicks, but Lin didn’t keep his uniform number — he was shipped to the Lakers.
-
9. Not-no-Super commute
Super Bowl-bound fans clog the escalators at the train station in Secaucus, where there were severe delays. AP The afternoon commute to the first New York/New Jersey Super Bowl devolved into more than 15 yards of unsportmanlike conduct. The NJ Transit train network was ill-equipped to deal with the packs of football fans — about 33,000 all counted, more than double the authorities’ best estimate — swamping out to the Swamp. Several travelers collapsed in the overheated crowd at Secaucus Junction. If anyone got to MetLife Stadium late, they missed it — the Seahawks went up 2-0 after 12 seconds and 15-0 early in the second quarter en route to a 43-8 victory.
-
10. Snowless in Sochi
For all the worries of a ramshackle Winter Olympics in the Russian resort town of Sochi, the biggest logistical obstacle turned out to be … the sun. Unseasonably warm weather melted and maimed the snowboard halfpipe, prompting scathing critiques from riders (favorite Shaun White finished fourth) and frantic chemical treatments.