After the first weekend of the greatest sporting event in America, there are two certainties:
1. A lot of newborns are going to be named Jimmer or Kemba.
2. Even what has been described as a down year in college basketball, one bereft of NBA lottery picks, you can’t stop March Madness from being magical.
Remarkably, I remain alive in my office pool (Memo to IRS, no monies were exchanged; winner to donate old car to L’Chaim Society), though in the future, I will put more of a premium on coaching.
Consider this: Of the 16 coaches remaining, nine have championship-game experience.
Ohio State’s Thad Matta, Kentucky’s John Calipari and Butler’s Brad Stevens came up one win short of cutting down the nets. UConn’s Jim Calhoun, Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski, Florida’s Billy Donovan, Kansas’ Bill Self, North Carolina’s Roy Williams and San Diego State’s Steve Fisher have won it.
The Post offers some memories of the first two rounds, some bracket regrets, and a look forward to the Sweet 16.
Wise Owl: Still like my going-out-on-a-limb pick — Temple winning the West. Double-overtime loss to San Diego State. As they say in Philly, I coulda been a bracket contenda.
Hysterical Blindness: Picking St. John’s to get to the Sweet 16. Drink too much Red Storm Kool-Aid — Johnnies lose their most versatile player and I can’t see through it.
My Dog Ate My Homework: Loved FSU until Chris Singleton went down with a foot injury. Failed to check he resumed practicing. Would have taken Seminoles over A&M, Notre Dame. Need note from parents.
James Naismith Award: Calipari, who said after the Wildcats beat West Virginia he didn’t know what zone defense Bob Huggins was playing.
One Mississippi, Two Mississippi: Clock operators at Butler-Pitt and North Carolina-Washington get games that reality TV shows called “Time Flies When You’re Having Fun.”
Smart Investment: VCU coach Shaka Smart turned down three Ivy League schools. He has assured himself of a great return. Rams came out of the First Four.
Looking ahead to the Sweet 16 and Elite Eight, Ohio State has been the most impressive team, Kansas is the deepest team, Wisconsin is the most fundamentally sound and Duke finds its overdrive in the return of Kyrie Irving.
Carlos the Jackal Award: Goes to BYU’s Jimmer Fredette or Connecticut’s Kemba Walker. They have one common straight — both kill you with smiles on their faces.
Cheese Makes it Better: Picked Wisconsin to get to the Final Four because the Badgers could set NCAA records for lowest turnovers (7.56) and best free-throw shooting (82.3 percent).
Port Authority Summit at Disney World: Duke, UConn win to set up the tourney’s marquee one-on-one matchup — Kemba Walker of The Bronx vs Kyrie Irving of Elizabeth, N.J.
Starting in the East, the experienced Buckeyes take out young Kentucky and then edge resurgent North Carolina in Newark, where visitors wonder if they’ve just stepped on the set of “The Wire.”
Duke was the nation’s best team until Irving hurt his toe. He returns and is Duke’s leading scorer in his first game back. Not fair to Arizona in the West.
UConn will become the last Big East team standing after ending San Diego State’s dream season. It sets up another epic UConn-Duke NCAA tournament game.
In the Southwest, Kansas ends Richmond’s yellow-brick road ride and pulls away from FSU, which survives VCU. Richmond coach Chris Mooney joins VCU’s Smart on the hot-coach commodity list.
Wisconsin becomes the team everyone loves to hate because its style is lacking. But the Badgers win a methodical game over Butler and impose their style on the winner of BYU-Florida in the Southeast title game.
BYU remains the most intriguing team, having overcome the suspension of Brandon Davies, and Jimmer Fredette remains the most intriguing player. Watching him on TV doesn’t do him justice.
BYU was awesome against Gonzaga, but the Stormin’ Mormons won’t feel nearly as easy in the Big East as they did in the Mile High City.
Talk about uneasy, Florida’s 5-foot-8 Erving Walker from Brooklyn is too quick for the 6-foot-2 Fredette.
Fredette, 22, is too big for Walker, 21. These are two of the most hard-nosed competitors left in the tournament.
Fredette even impresses himself. When asked by The Post if he thinks he took a shot outside of his range, Jimmer said: “I’ve definitely seen a couple that are pretty far. I probably maybe shouldn’t have shot ’em, but they went in good, so that was good.”
If your team is still playing this late in March, it’s all good.