Kids, just say no to drugs.
A first-grader in Massachusetts stumbled upon three big bags of heroin near his bus stop and took them to school, where he gave them to classmates.
Not knowing what they had, they handed the $1,400 worth of narcotics to their teachers.
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Some students will do anything to avoid a test.
A 29-year-old medical student in Limoges, France, stabbed himself twice in the abdomen before a scheduled residency exam — and then claimed he’d been assaulted.
The ruse didn’t work. The man had a history of pulling stunts to avoid tests and admitted he’d stabbed himself.
Now he could be imprisoned for six months.
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This is a truly cautionary tale.
A man who had taken too many pills for erectile dysfunction was told that doctors would have to amputate his penis because gangrene set in following a 27-hour erection.
Terrified, the man fled the Dominican Republic hospital.
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The good luck must be rubbing off.
The wife of the appropriately named Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan won a motorcycle in a bank raffle.
First Lady Patience Jonathan is free to pick up the motorcycle at any time.
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A bad ’80s haircut landed an Australian crook behind bars.
Zane David Webb and two cohorts broke their victim’s jaw in two places when they beat the man in the bathroom of a Tasmanian nightclub.
Witnesses had trouble fingering the two other suspects in the savage beating — but clearly recalled Webb’s rat’s-tail haircut. Webb can ponder a new hairstyle during his 14-month prison term.