BANNED by major networks and basic cable from the red-carpet coverage she pioneered, the indefatigable Joan Rivers goes live this morning on AOL, with her own unexpurgated best- and worst-dressed Oscar roundup. In anticipation of her blistering critiques, we asked Rivers – along with designer Isaac Mizrahi and stylist Inge Fonteyne (who styled Catherine Zeta-Jones the year she won Best Supporting Actress for “Chicago”) – to weigh in on the power and perils of redcarpet dressing. They also talk about who needs to drop her stylist, gain some weight and, in general, get over herself.
Who always gets it right on the red carpet?
JOAN: Cate Blanchett. She’s a risk-taker. She gets what high fashion is about, and she always carries it off.
ISAAC: Cate Blanchett. She always surprises me. I once saw this dress in WWD – I won’t say what it was – and I didn’t like it, but then she wore it, and it looked amazing. She clearly has an eye.
INGE: Cate. Although that black Alexander McQueen she wore recently – with the hem higher in the front and longer in the back – I didn’t like that.
What should be eternally banished from red-carpet dressing?
ISAAC: This mermaid silhouette that everyone seems to love. Frankly, I’m tired of it.
JOAN: It’s been ruined by the stylists. I miss the old days, when Bjork would show up dressed like a chicken and squat down to lay an egg, whichturned out to be her purse! Those are the days you say, “Thank you, God!”
What’s the biggest mistake people make on the red carpet?
JOAN: Who you walk with! Last year Nicole was walking with Naomi Watts. Naomi was in yellow and Nicole was in red. They looked like condiments.
INGE: Doing too much: pouffy hair and too much makeup. Take it down a notch. Too many people think that an Oscar gown needs to look like a prom dress.
JOAN: Or when someone says to a celebrity, “You’ve got such style – you
should design your own dress!” Like Kim Basinger [did with] that one-shouldered creation. Oh my God! Where was the housekeeper to lock her in? Or the chauffeur to say, “I can’t open the car door?” And remember Demi Moore in the bicycle shorts? Oh my God! A classic! A classic!
ISAAC: They overthink it. They take it so seriously. God knows why- because they’re not gonna get nominated again? Or be young again? Look at someone like Diane Keaton, who years ago wore a men’s shirt to the Oscars. That was incredibly stylish.
JOAN: Diane Keaton – two years ago she walked right past me. I just wanted to say, “What is your problem? I knew you back in New York!”
The most memorable red-carpet look in recent memory?
ISAAC: Julia Roberts in that Valentino, with the big hair. She looked great. You could not hide the exuberant little girl in that.
JOAN: I love Julia Roberts. She is funny – that’s key.
INGE: Julie Christie – she is an ageless beauty. At the SAG Awards she wore a classic women’s tux – she looked great! You don’t always have to look like a princess at the ball.
So who gets it wrong?
INGE: Angelina Jolie. I hate her. I hate her smug look. I don’t care what she’s wearing. I don’t think she’s got great style. I don’t think she’s got style at all. And Jennifer Aniston such a pretty girl, but it always looks like she went to BCBG.
JOAN: Ellen Page. Unfortunately, I saw a picture of her at the Producers Guild Awards. She’s young. “Juno” was not my favorite movie. I don’t think it’s a good message – have a baby at 16 and everything’s sweet and adorable.
ISAAC: I love Ellen Page. She isn’t even 20. I want her to wear a short dress. It’s so much more modern.
INGE: Halle Berry needs help badly. She wears those weird Escada gowns. When she won her Oscar, she had that transparent-illusion top with the ball-gown skirt. It looked cheap. I think Nicole Kidman makes quite a few mistakes. Remember that year she wore that gold sequined gown with the big thing on her head?
ISAAC: Nicole always looks gorgeous.
JOAN: I adore her. You know who talks to you – the ones with humor, the ones who get it.
What should never be worn?
ISAAC: You can get it wrong if you wear black. It can look too austere.
INGE: I would not put a strapless dress on a heavy person.
What about the men who are nominated?
INGE: George Clooney is so on it. He never changes his look. All these men have to do is look clean.
JOAN: All the men are smaller than you’d think. They’re shrinkwrapped.
ISAAC: They’re all so goodlooking this year: Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Daniel Day-Lewis. I like it when the guys look incredibly classic. I don’t want to see a bolo tie or a Nehru jacket. I want to see a classic dinner jacket.
JOAN: Daniel Day-Lewis is too skinny! He has to gain weight. You know he’s going to wear a frock coat. I know it’s important to be an actor, but calm down.
INGE: Johnny Depp likes to take chances every once in a while. They don’t always work, but he’s a rock ‘n’ roll dude.
JOAN: Johnny is one of my faves. You just never know. One day he shows up looking perfect in a dinner jacket and the next as a Looney Tune. I think it depends on what he had the night before.