THERE are two ways to deal with tourists in this town: Get used to them or get away from them.
Because, make no mistake, they’re here, they’re slow – they’re going to stand ahead of you on line at Europa Café and take 10 minutes to order.
New Yorkers know to expect the worst from areas like Rockefeller Center or Fifth Avenue, where out-of-towners stroll, be-fannypacked, holding hands and walking four-abreast across the street. They shuffle down the sidewalk, stopping midstride to gawk upward and point . . . at what, we have no idea.
Steering clear of the belly of the beast is a no-brainer, but increasingly, these annoying travelers are finding their way to previously safe neighborhoods.
Fear not: This survival guide will help you avoid danger zones while directing you to neighborhoods where you can find dinner in a cozy restaurant, throw down a few happy-hour cocktails and even grab a few gifts without developing an ulcer.
MIDTOWN/UPTOWN
Danger zone: Perhaps the biggest tourist trap in Gotham is the Midtown area between the 30s and 60s. Be sure to avoid the Bermuda triangle that is Rockefeller Center, Saks Fifth Avenue and Tiffany. Once you go in, you’ll be lost in a sea of eager tourists oohing and aahing over the pretty tree and the bright lights. Yeah, yeah, we get it, people – Dean & DeLuca, just like on the defunct show “Felicity.” Take a picture. Move it along. And don’t even think about grabbing something to eat, unless you’re willing to drop $20 on a turkey club with french fries or $15 on a burger.
Safety zones: Morningside Heights: Safe from the hordes, there are a number of places to relax and grab a bite between 110th and 125th streets. With Columbia students either in their dorms cramming for finals or home for the holiday break, there’s a world of breathing room up here.
The Southern-food menu at 107 West (2787 Broadway; [212] 864-1555) boasts some of the tastiest fried chicken in the city. If you’re in a rush, you could just grab a quick soup or salad at Toast (3157 Broadway; [212] 662-1144) and then snap up a few gifts for your friend’s kiddies at Bank Street Bookstore (Broadway and 112th Street). This area is also loaded with live music. The Ding Dong Lounge (929 Columbus Ave.; [212] 663-2600) features some great under-the-radar punk bands. If you just want to mellow out, the Smoke Jazz Club and Lounge (2751 Broadway; [212] 864-6662) is a sweet spot.
“This was the last crackhead neighborhood in the city when we moved in seven years ago,” says Ding Dong Lounge co-owner Bill Nolan. “But now this area is the last great secret in the city.”
Yorkville: Relieve some holiday stress with a bar crawl through this generally underrated area, which covers only 76th to 96th streets and Lexington Avenue to the East River. Saloon (1584 York Ave; [212] 570-5454) is a cool place to check out some retro ’80s jams or catch a Knicks or a Rangers game. It also has great drink specials for happy hour. If you want to embarrass your close friends before your holiday dinner party, drag them to Cabin Fever (1439 York Ave.; [212] 794-2211) and force them to belt out their favorite karaoke songs. Meanwhile, as the German tourists are ordering “ein grandes latte” at Starbucks, you’ll be toasting rowdily with a mug of Spaten lager at one of the most authentic Teutonic restaurants the city has to offer, Heidelberg (1648 Second Ave.; [212] 628-2332). If you’re not in the mood to get your schnitzel on, head over to sample Belgian beverages (got to love the Leffe) and garlic-and-beer mussels at B. Café (240 E. 75th St.; [212] 249-3300).
Harlem: Although a few Germans have found their way up here (it’s a jazz thing) Harlem remains for the most part tourist-free. Leave your man at spa BBraxton (1400 Fifth Ave.; [212] 369-3094) for a macho makeover while you stop by Harlemade (174 Lenox Ave.; [212] 987-2500) for homegrown hats, bags, picture frames, smelly bath lotions and supercool T-shirts, or Xukuma (11 E. 125th St.; [212] 222-0490) for more Afrocentric wares. For dressier fare, the boutique N (114 W. 116th St.; [212] 427-0253) carries designs for men and women, and the sale rack in the middle of the first floor can’t be beat. Find perfect stocking stuffers at kids store Grandma’s Place (84 W. 120th St.; [212] 360-6776). Since we’re avoiding tourists, skip a snack at Sylvia’s in favor of Settepani (196 Lenox Ave.; [917] 492-4806) for coffee and sweets. For a meal, Native (161 Lenox Ave.; [212] 665-2525) is a nicely priced mix of French-Morrocan and soul, or head over to
mini restaurant row Frederick Douglass Boulevard. A drink at the Lenox Lounge (288 Lenox Ave.; [212] 427-0253) is a must before hopping back on the train.
DOWNTOWN
Danger zone: Be very careful not to wander too far downtown, as the South Street Seaport will be flooded with tourists shopping in the malls and trolling through the “Bodies” exhibition. Another nightmare is the Staten Island Ferry. Unless you have a serious reason to get onboard or a sudden urgency to gawk at the Statue of Liberty, avoid it like the plague.
Safety zones: Greenwich Village: It may be hard to believe, but a safer option is the Village, now blessedly devoid of NYU students who have headed home for their long winter break. It’s not tourist-free, but trust us – it’s a helluva lot better than a case of South Street sidewalk rage. Spend the day browsing at the countless shops. A great option is Fassbinder (39 Eighth Ave., between West Fourth and Jane streets; [212] 206-0211), a stunningly curated boutique of modern metalwork and vintage home items. Tourists don’t know about Zachary’s Smile (9 Greenwich Ave.) but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t; this boutique carries its own line of retro-fab new and vintage dresses and tops. If you’re planning a vacation to flee the crowds that have invaded our fair isle, stop by Flight 001 (96 Greenwich Ave.; [212] 989-0001) to pick up funky-cool luggage, moleskine travel notebooks, and cute Dop kits that comply with the new “We’re going to take your Kiehl’s lip gloss away from you unless you check it” 3-ounce container airport regulations. After you’ve run your errands, have a quiet low-key lunch or dinner at Café Reggio (119 MacDougal St., between West Third and Bleecker streets; [212] 475-9557).
“It’s a great place to stop by and have a cappuccino that’s not from Starbucks,” says Toby Buggiani, manager of the restaurant that has been around since 1927. “We have a very relaxing atmosphere with classical music and good food. The locals love it.”
Brooklyn: Hey, why not just ditch Manhattan all together and sneak over to Brooklyn? Grab a blueberry muffin at one of the borough’s best – Blue Sky Bakery (53 Fifth Ave.; [718] 783-4123) in Park Slope, and wander over to Prospect Park. It’s a lovely alternative to Central Park.
Fort Greene, between Myrtle Avenue and Cumberland Street, is filled with SoHo-esque shops for browsing and possibly snagging some Pratt-produced goodies. Swing by Chez Oskar (211 DeKalb Ave.; [718] 852-6250) for an indulgent brunch.
A nice hideaway is Moe’s (80 Lafayette Ave.; [718] 797-9536), which boasts an excellent bar staff. A few miles north is another safe haven, Williamsburg/Greenpoint.
Impress your relatives with a nice dinner at Dressler (149 Broadway; [718] 384-6343). It recently received a Michelin star, courtesy of the incredible roasted duck. Then hit Pencil Factory (142 Franklin St; [718] 609-5858) for a nightcap. The Irish pub will make anyone feel like they’re from the neighborhood – especially welcome now, when yours is filled with strangers.