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SITTIN’ PRETTY AFTER COMING OFF BENCH

Chess VASILY Ivanchuk has been among the world’s elite players since he burst on the international scene two decades ago when he won the New York Open as an unknown 17-year-old Ukrainian master.

But Ivanchuk doesn’t get invited to elite events these days. Organizers prefer youngsters like Magnus Carlsen of Norway and Teimur Radjabov of Azerbaijan.

And when a list of players was drawn up for this year’s Morelia, Mexico-Linares, Spain, supertournament, Ivanchuk was included only as a backup.

Usually the backup becomes a well-paid spectator, with nothing to do, like an alternate juror in a criminal trial. But, in a bizarre twist, Ivanchuk was a last-minute replacement – due to a crime .

Radjabov’s hotel room was burglarized before the first round, and the most important thing stolen was his computer – with his opening secrets. He dropped out after demanding compensation from the Mexican organizers – allegedly to the tune of 100,000 euros.

Ivanchuk was pressed into service as his replacement, and promptly stunned the world’s highest-rated player, Veselin Topalov, in 41 moves. Before the tournament moved to Linares for its second half, Ivanchuk was alone in third place.

Bridge WHEN you’re up to your ears in trouble, try using the part of you that isn’t submerged.

In today’s deal, North-South got in up to their necks in the bidding. South’s jump to two hearts was “intermediate,” promising a good six-card suit and opening values. Most players use preemptive jump overcalls in the direct position, but it makes no sense to play a “balancing” jump overcall as a weak bid.

North should have passed, since what few values he had were too soft to try for game. His 2NT excited South, who barreled into four hearts.

West led a spade, and when South saw dummy, he was so dismayed that he won with the queen and led a trump to his king. West took the ace, and South was in over his head. Eventually, he lost to West’s minor-suit aces and also lost another trump trick to East’s J-10. Down one.

A kibitzer pointed out that South could succeed by leading to his nine on the first trump.

“How could I know that?” South snorted. “East could have held the ace.”

South succeeds by using his brain. South can place East with the ace or king of diamonds since if West held both honors, his opening lead would have been a high diamond. So East, who couldn’t respond to his partner’s opening bid, can’t have the ace of hearts: He’d have responded with as many as seven points. South must play East for J-10-x in trumps.

(Yes, East could prevail by playing an honor on the first trump. But South could always get home by winning the first spade in his hand and leading a diamond.)