WELL, he ain’t your father’s “Dracula,” that’s for sure.
But he’s not some futuristic creature who blows out of buildings, has blades for fingers, or has a working knowledge of pyrotechnics or martial arts.
What PBS’s “Masterpiece Theater” version of “Dracula” (the man, the myth, the legend!) does have in abundance, however, is the scary, slimy, creepy factor – in the nastiest way.
And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
In this 90-minute version, Drac is played neither like Bela Lugosi’s hauntingly over-the-top bloodsucker nor as the disgustingly really, really old man played by young man Gary Oldman in Francis Ford Coppola’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.”
Nonetheless, actor Marc Warren does the legend proud, and his version will for sure give you the creeps.
Taking the barest of bones from the original novel, the production takes some liberties to which I, as an avid Drac fan, don’t object.
Like? Well, for instance, here, Lucy’s fiancé, Arthur, (Dan Stevens) is not the nice guy who works alongside Van Helsing (David Suchet) – but a syphilitic, rich creep who lusts for Lucy (Sophia Myles) but doesn’t touch her once they’re married.
Lucy should have married the other guy, of course, Dr. John Seward (Tom Burke).
But who knew a bad marriage could lead to having your neck torn asunder by a vicious 900-year-old monster?
Then there’s Lucy’s best friend, Mina, (Stephanie Leonidas), who sends her beau, Jonathan (Rafe Spall) off to Transylvania on his first business trip as a lawyer with a tear in her eye – never knowing it’s a ride into hell.
Jonathan’s coach ride, which is always terrifying, is given short shrift here sans mad horses or spooked townsfolk in quaint outfits.
But once Jon-boy gets to the castle, the creep is on full-throttle.
Yes, of course you gotta wonder why, after all the clues (like practically having his throat ripped out in dreams or maybe real life), Jonathan ventures alone into the bottom of the castle crypt. Or lab. Or whatever the heck it is.
But hey – that’s the heart of horror: venturing where you know you shouldn’t go!
All that aside, the one thing that is wrong with the production, is in many ways, well, the production itself. For the first hour (of only a 90-minute total), the scenes shift every 30-45 seconds like some ’90s heavy metal music video replete with Goths and girls.
In fact, “Dracula” may leave you wishing that they’d stayed on-point for more than 45 seconds at a time. It’s very disconcerting and annoying.
Maybe it’s because they didn’t want to miss the chance to include every possible attack and every possible chance to rip people’s heads off, but still . . .
I’m not saying the decapitations weren’t well done, but maybe this should have been a miniseries, where we could have had gore and depth.
Still, this is one to watch in bed with the covers pulled way up – and the windows locked. You know how those bats always get in when you least expect them.
“Dracula”
Tomorrow at 9 p.m. on Ch. 13