AFTER last year’s motley movie tie-ins – the misguided “Phantom of the Opera” salute at Bloomie’s, “The Polar Express” derailment at Macy’s – we started bracing for the worst from this season’s holiday windows.
Was anyone truly ready for “Borat: Christmas in Kazahkstan”?
Happily, the displays have gone back to the basics – saluting celebration, cheer and charity. And with so many stores allying themselves with good causes, you’d have to be a Grinch to give any of them fewer than three snowflakes.
Here, from one to five flakes, are this year’s splendors under glass. Our winner? Saks, with its tale of five very different ice crystals merging above Manhattan.
But don’t take our word for it – see them for yourself, allowing plenty of time for detours up and down Fifth Avenue.
Days before Thanksgiving, we’re surrounded by a window wonderland.
SAKS FIFTH AVENUE
611 Fifth Ave., at 48th Street
THEME: “The Perfect Snowflake”
DRAWS: All that glitters aren’t just the Swarovski crystals in these six dazzling windows. Rather, this tale of five ragtag little ice crystals that could – even though one has braces, another one is dumpy, and a third bears an unsettling resemblance to Jonathan Pryce – unfolds against a beautiful art-deco landscape. That final tableau – of the crystals merging into one snowflake, over animated, lit-up replicas of the Empire State, Chrysler and Rockefeller Center buildings – drew audible oohs and ahs at its unveiling.
DRAWBACKS: OK, the crystals (Allie, Tay-Tay, Chip, Winnie, Timmy) have cutesy names.We’ll live with that.
RATING: ***** (Five snowflakes)
BARNEYS
660 Madison Ave., at 61st Street
THEME: “Happy Andy Warhol-idays”
DRAWS: Once again, Simon Doonan is the coolest window dresser in town. For this, his 20th holiday display, he charts the decades of Andy Warhol’s life – from the illustrator days of the ’50s through his ’80s “collectibles” period – with his usual wit and attention to detail. Note the cameo by Liza Minnelli in Andy’s “social butterfly” period and the blowup of that 1956 rejection letter from MoMA, declining Warhol’s gift of a drawing of a shoe. (Boy, must they feel stupid.) Along 61st Street, catch the Warhol portraits by the aspiring artists of the East Harlem School.
DRAWBACKS: So clever, as always, but a little cold. Those dour Warholian musings he quotes: “After you tip the doorman, he goes on sick leave or quits.” And a happy passive-aggressive Christmas to you!
RATING: *** (Three snowflakes)
BLOOMINGDALE’S
Lexington Avenue at 59th Street
THEME: “The World Celebrates”
DRAWS: Bless Bloomies’ multi-culti heart for including Hanukkah and Kwanzaa in its festivities. Ten windows, to be unveiled this afternoon at 4:30, pay homage to holiday traditions ’round the world. Look for the tale of La Betano, the little old lady who leaves gifts for the children of Italy – you were expecting maybe Miuccia Prada? – and the cunning, Marc Chagall-like backdrop behind the large mosaic menorah. Listen, too, for the sound of trumpets, this year courtesy of Chris Botti, heir apparent to Harry Connick Jr.
DRAWBACKS: The crudely fashioned plaster figures look as if they’d escaped from a ragtag carousel, but there’s a lot more heart here than usual.
RATING: *** ½ (Three and one-half stars)
LORD & TAYLOR
424 Fifth Ave., at 38th Street
THEME: “It’s a Gift of Joy”
DRAWS: Six gorgeous, intricately detailed windows inspired by vintage postcards celebrate the hallmarks of the season: sumptuous dinners, tree-trimming parties, skating in Central Park. Blowups of old black-and-white family snapshots add a human touch amidst the tiny animated action, and here and there are large mechanicals, like the Nutcracker whose arms and legs flap aerobically. Can a Crunch Christmas workout be far behind? Adorable alert: Look for the beagle puppy in the tree-trimming scene, sniffing out the cookies.
DRAWBACKS: For the second year in a row, L&T goes postal. And when we saw that postcard from Grandma Klein, we sort of hoped there’s be some mention of latkes.
RATING: **** ½ (Four and one-half stars)
BERGDORF GOODMAN
754 Fifth Ave., at 58th Street
THEME: “The Art of Celebrating”
DRAWS: Another year, another Freudian fever dream of a holiday window display. There’s almost too much here to absorb on a cold day, what with big windows dedicated to holiday themes like “Recollect,” a study in black-and-white, replete with Boston terriers, vintage cameras and typewriters, and “Decorate,” a gingerbread dream, right down to the candied decorations in the mannequin’s hair. Still, it’s hard to top “Entertain,” in which a polar bear in black tie opens the door to a woman dripping in fur. We can practically see those PETA protesters now.
DRAWBACKS: Like all good therapy, retail and otherwise, this one requires time to take in. If only they’d set out some couches outside, or even a park bench or two.
RATING: **** ½ (Four and one-half stars)
MACY’S
34th Street at Herald Square
THEME: “O Christmas Tree”
DRAWS: At last, Santa heard our wish, and granted us a better sound system and the liveliest display in years. A firebreathing dragon, roaring lion and undersea adventure lead the way to the North Pole where Santa waits, inexplicably, with an owl on his head. It’s even interactive: Push the star (clever marketing there, Macy’s!), and more special effects ensue. Along 34th Street, scenes from “Miracle on 34th Street,” unfurl mutely, as beguiling as ever. Indeed, the little suits on the figures look as if they’ve just come back from the dry cleaner.
DRAWBACKS: The new windows start next to a Burger King entrance, hardly the greatest kickoff point, and it’s never really clear where the story is headed.
RATING: *** (Three stars)