OK, it’s down to the wire and you still have questions about what deductions you can get past the Internal Revenue Service.
And while these may not be the exact questions you were thinking about – unless, of course, you happen to be a stripper looking to have taxpayers pay for your augmentation surgery – these answers may surprise and benefit you anyway.
Here goes, courtesy of my vivid imagination and with the cooperation of the IRS and a few tax professionals.
Q. You are thinking of taking an advanced degree and decide to study the role comic books play in society.
You actually are accepted to a Ph.D. program (yes, there is one) and start buying first-edition comic books for your, ahem!, research. Can you deduct any of these costs?
A. No way, says Tim Jessell, a partner at Greenberg Traurig in McLean, Va. “Most education expenses are deductible only if they improve job skills,” he says.
So unless you are already in the funny pages, the IRS will not think it’s a laughing matter if you try to deduct these costs.
The IRS Topic 513 concurs. Education expenses must serve a business purpose for your employer and be required by the person who signs your paychecks.
But wait! An accountant in New York tells me: “I had a client who not only tried to, but properly did deduct thousands of dollars of comic book purchases.”
I will leave out names so the IRS can’t track these folks down.
Q. Everybody says you have a nice body, and you decide not to let it go to waste. You enroll in a dance school, but really it’s to teach you moves for your next career as an entertainer in a gentleman’s club. Deductible?
A. Nope. You can’t deduct expenses that help you qualify for your next job. If you wanted to bone up on your secretarial skills to improve your current position, well then you might have a chance.
Q. What if you are already working as an exotic dancer and are earning a good living at the PuzzyCat Lounge. Can you deduct the cost of cosmetic surgery then?
A. Steee-rike three. But an accountant in New York said he let his client claim this one, if she could prove her earnings improved.
Jessell says the IRS views matters like this as personal taste and is unlikely to agree to a deduction, if, of course, it notices it.
He points out that an actor was denied a business deduction for dentures, even though they were intended to correct a speech impeddddimment. (Sorry for stuttering. My tongue got stuck on my bridge.)
The IRS in its Publication 502 includes face lifts, hair transplants, electrolysis, teeth whitening and liposuction as non-deductibles.
Want the government to pay? Have surgery that promotes “proper function of the body” or prevents and treats illness.
I’m thinking of getting my fingers shortened so I don’t have to reach so far for the keyboard. Will that make my body function better?
Q. Your dog, Fifi, is the most beloved member of your family. And just to pay for her clippings you make Fifi do a modeling job or two. Can you deduct Fifi’s expenses beyond the occasional grooming?
A. You would have to report her earnings as “hobby income,” says the IRS. And you can deduct costs as a “hobby loss,” but only up to the amount the pooch earned.
Q. You work on a Hollywood set as an electrician and you stock your home with all the latest entertainment gadgets.
You also buy every DVD as soon as it comes on the market. The big shots you work for need to know you care.
Writeoff or not?
A. This is a true story. But I don’t know whether or not the electrician is now rewiring his cell in a federal prison.
But believe it or not, the IRS isn’t as quick to deny this one.
“It’s a bit of a stretch,” says a tax expert. “Too much personal component to be viewed as a deductible expense.”
Hey, that’s better than an outright no. To be safe, you might want to take this sort of expense as a miscellaneous itemized deduction on Schedule A (Form 1040), according to the experts.