THE new stadium for the Jets over the West Side rail yards is a perfect plan in a perfect world.
But New York City Ordinance 10-125 makes the world less than perfect.
In fact, you could say that thanks to 10-125 the proposal tramples on the old business advice to “give the customer what he wants.”
Imagine that the place gets built and it’s beautiful. The team thrives, fans hop on subways and railroads from the ‘burbs to attend games – singing the team fight song along the way.
And let’s even say that quarterback Chad Pennington is a cinch for the Hall of Fame even before the first Romanian weightlifter is thrown out of the 2010 Olympics event – taking place in Jets Stadium – for steroid use.
And we’ll dream on: The area around the stadium – now quite unattractive – goes on to be one of the centers of life in New York.
I’m a fan of football, and I like the Jets. And in a perfect world the idea of a stadium on the West Side is about as good as one of those little jigs a wide receiver performs after scoring a touchdown.
And I’m not one of those “build-a-stadium-anywhere” kind of guys.
But, Mayor Bloomberg wants his stadium. Did anyone dare deprive the Pharaoh his pyramid? So, I like the stadium – with an asterisk for Ordinance 10-125.
Mayor Bloomberg probably doesn’t attend many football games. And when he does I’m sure he’s one of those guys whose limo driver drops him off at curbside so he can be whisked by security to his suite.
But even my daughter Megan Florence Crudele — who is not a football fan – knows about something called tailgating.
In fact it’s probably the only part of the game she understands – people eating and drinking together in festive camaraderie.
And these festivities have gotten so elaborate over the decades that many times they overtake the importance of the football game itself.
Nowadays it’s not unusual to see many thousands of fans – Jets fans in that team’s case – gathering in groups of five to 100 breaking bread, eating baked ziti, sharing salads, nibbling at corn and tossing footballs around.
They set up barbecue grills (Mr. Mayor, that’s like a fireplace for outdoors) and they cook. (Mr. Mayor, that’s the opposite of catering) right next to their cars.
And they drink. Sometimes they even drink a lot – beer, booze and even – God forgive their souls – wine coolers.
That gets me to city Ordinance 10-125, which states “Consumption of alcohol on streets prohibited.”
I think the city forgot the verb in that sentence but you get the point: this long-standing football tradition, the gathering of fans to celebrate a Jets’ victory even before it happens, will be outlawed.
Fans can get hit with a $25 fine – which admittedly is a small price to pay for such revelry.
But they can also get thrown into jail for five days.
But even if Jets lovers are willing to risk a monetary slap on the wrist and a criminal record, and even if the city gives permission (and permits) for public boozing, there is another problem.
There’s no place where fans they drop their tailgates and cavort.
There are 26,000 parking spaces near the stadium in which the Jets now play, which is irksomely called Giants Stadium.
The parking lots at the new Jets stadium will have exactly 0 spaces.
You see, the city isn’t planning to build any parking lots – a not-too-surprising decision considering there is no space for them and the fact that land on the West Side is too expensive for such trivialities.
So instead, the planners think Jets fans will take public transportation even on cold winter nights. Seventy percent said, “Sure we will,” or that they’ll be able to squeeze their cars into 16,000 existing spaces in privately owned lots.
I haven’t asked Kinney or Edison, but I don’t think either will be too keen to the idea of fans taking up five parking spaces so they can slow-cook sausage and fast-drink Bud in their lots.
So, talk about what they call in economics the macro issues: jobs, revenue and lawsuits. But every service company like the Jets knows that customer is a key issue.
And just where are Jets fans going to be served their hot dogs and burgers if there is no parking lot?