November 25, 2004

YOU CAN THANK TYCO FOR THIS YEAR'S LOW-KEY HOLIDAY PARTY

COMPANIES are turning down gratis caviar and other highfalutin freebies for their Christmas parties, and it's all Dennis Kozlowski's fault. OK, today is Thanksgiving and I shouldn't be thinking that...

FIRM HOPES SELF-HEATING MEALS GETS BIZ COOKING

Meals that heat themselves are rolling out on New York grocery shelves - ideal for people who hate cooking. The self-heating dinners turn steaming hot in about two minutes after...

E*TRADE PLAYERS SHOCKED BY VANISHING MONEY

Thousands of E*Trade's best customers got the surprise of their lives yesterday when they logged onto their online trading accounts and found their balances reduced to zero. That shock quickly...

DOLLAR FALLS TO NEW LOW

The dollar is at its lowest level ever against other major currencies, making shopping in America a huge bargain for foreign tourists. The greenback dropped yesterday to yet another new...

MARTHA'S STOCK IS NO TURKEY

The dismal prospect of a jailhouse Thanksgiving notwithstanding, Martha Stewart had something to be thankful for yesterday, when her company's share price soared. The stock of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia...

HANK HAMMERED - GREENBERG'S IMAGE TAKES HIT FROM SCANDALS

Hank Greenberg once walked among the business world's untouchables. The multi-billionaire chairman of AIG Inc. quietly helped President Nixon open China, remained invisible during President Clinton's Chinagate scandal, despite ties...

CHUCK IN ORBIT - DOLAN BETS BIG, PAYS $740M FOR 5 SATELLITES

Despite a chorus of Wall Street naysayers, Chuck Dolan continues to gamble big on his startup satellite-television venture. Voom - the offshoot of Dolan's Cablevision Systems empire - signed a...

LINE STARTS HERE TO REPLACE RATHER

THE scramble to replace Dan Rather was in full tilt yesterday - both inside and outside of CBS News. Some parties are pushing to promote the next "CBS Evening News"...

FOR THE BIRDS - EAT, DRINK AND BE WARY OF THESE HOLLYWOOD TURKEYS; GOBBLEDYGOOK

HOLLYWOOD has produced another bumper crop of turkeys this year - so grab a plate and give no-thanks today for these cinematic gobblers, stuffed with some of Tinseltown's biggest names...

DONALD GOES LONG

THREE hours hardly seems enough - but that's how long next month's season finale of "The Apprentice" will be, NBC said yesterday. The big wrap-up is set to air Dec....

'SEINFELD STORY' A REAL REASON TO GIVE THANKS

ONLY Jerry Seinfeld would begin a TV special by doing a standup routine making fun of the word "special." If something's so special, (like, say, a TV show or the...

CHEATING'S IN THE DNA FOR LADIES

Women who cheat on their partners now have the perfect excuse - my genes made me do it. New research reveals that female infidelity and the number of sexual partners...

HAIL OF A SHOCK FOR BANK-JOB SUSPECT

Hey, taxi! Take me to jail, and step on it! A man fleeing from the Midtown bank he had just robbed hailed a taxi to his own arrest yesterday -...

HEADS UP FOR SKATEBOARDERS

ALBANY - Add skateboarders to the list of activities for which kids must now wear helmets. Gov. Pataki yesterday signed into law legislation requiring kids under the age of 14...

WEIRD BUT TRUE

They've snatched SpongeBob SquarePants! A blow-up doll of the cartoon icon was grabbed from a Minnesota Burger King by kidnappers who left a ransom note reading, "We have SpongeBob! Give...

PELOSI'S BOAST AS DA RESTS

The prosecution completed its murder case against Danny Pelosi yesterday - and the suspect immediately issued a scathing review of the evidence against him before he was handcuffed and led...

L.I. CYBERSTING SNARES CRUDE NUDE

A married Long Island man with the computer screen name of "Long Island Naked Guy" was busted for sending nude pictures of himself to someone he thought was a 13-year-old...

ENDANGERED SPECIES GET COUNCIL HELP

Retailers selling products made from endangered species could soon be hit with fines of as much as $1,500 under legislation promoted yesterday by the City Council. Federal and state laws...

QNS. SHRINK BANNED AS HOSP CREEP

ALBANY - A psychiatrist fired from Elmhurst Hospital - for sexually harassing a woman who had attempted suicide - has lost his medical license for good. A state Health Committee...

ANGEL GOES HOME FOR THE HOLIDAY

Angel Reyes would rather have Italian food than turkey tonight. But after more than a month of hospital food, the 12-year-old boy, who survived the alleged drunk-driving accident that killed...

SYRIA BIDS FOR TALKS WITH ISRAEL

JERUSALEM - Syria is willing to reopen peace talks with Israel "without conditions," a United Nations special envoy said yesterday - but Israel dismissed the overture as "nothing new." Negotiations...

NYPD DAILY BLOTTER

THE BRONX * A Melrose man has been arrested in Massachusetts for fatally stabbing an acquaintance in 2001 after an argument escalated into violence, cops said yesterday. Felipe Santana, 24,...

RAIN ADDS TO PAIN FOR TRAVELERS

Travelers yesterday braved rainy weather and long lines at airports during the busiest travel day of the year. Passengers jammed into La Guardia Airport, trying to get a jump on...

PAROLEE SAVAGELY 'BEATS' EX

A convicted killer was arrested in Brooklyn after he allegedly kidnapped his former girlfriend and beat her to a bloody pulp, police sources said yesterday. The 25-year-old woman, who was...

MAFIA TURNCOAT FAPP'S RAP COULD ZAP JR. GOTTI

Mob turncoat Frankie "Fapp" Fappiano, who just spilled the beans on Peter Gotti, might soon open his yap in another trial - this one against John "Junior" Gotti. The former...

MIKE VETOES MILLER'S ELEX-FUNDING BOO$T

Mayor Bloomberg yesterday vetoed campaign finance legislation that would have altered the funding of city elections and aided challengers to the billionaire mayor. Led by Speaker Gifford Miller, a likely...

BANDITS' 300G QNS. GEM HAUL

Three masked men ripped off about $300,000 in jewelry yesterday after tying up a worker at gunpoint in a Queens diamond factory, police said. The robbers, wearing black masks, stormed...

SPONGEBOB SHOULD AVOID A SOAKING AT PARADE

The millions flocking to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade may get a holiday miracle today, with rainy skies expected to clear by the start and stay that way just long...

CRIPPLED G.I. WALKING TALL - QNS. HERO GRATEFUL FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS

Sgt. Orlando Gill of Queens has a lot to be thankful for this year. He's thankful for family, and friends - and, even after his leg was blown off, thankful...

FANS $LUG YANKS - SUE OVER EJECTION IN PHOTO FLAP

Two Yankee fans - one of them blind - hit the Bronx Bombers with a $6 million civil-rights suit, charging they were illegally forced out of Yankee Stadium after taking...

FROM DISS TO DEATH - SLAY SUSPECT'S FRIEND RIPPED INTO GRID STAR

College student Mark Fisher was angrily rebuked by a pal of his alleged killer over a minor lapse in manners just moments after they met, law-enforcement sources told The Post...

BANDIT'S BAD 'DYE' JOB - CASH BLAST NAILS CROSS-DRESSER

A cross-dressing Long Island bank robber who wore pink lipstick, a powder-blue ski jacket and a brunette wig was busted after a quick-thinking teller set off a dye pack that...

BARROOM TERROR JURORS HUNG

The jury in the case of a bigoted Brooklyn barber charged with spewing kerosene, bullets and profanity in an East Village wine bar has deadlocked after 2 ½ weeks of...

EATERIES SERVED UP COLD-CASH 'BRIBES'

Managers at six restaurants, including a famed East Side Italian eatery, were charged yesterday with offering bribes to undercover cops posing as a health inspectors as part of a sting...

WORKER SLAIN AT QNS. GAS STATION

A Queens gas station employee was shot and killed yesterday after his co-worker stepped out for his morning coffee, police said. A third worker at The Emporium station in Hollis...

'SHEFF' VIDEO FOUND - CALLED 'R. KELLY XXX'

The feds say they've retrieved a steamy videotape that could be at the center of the Gary Sheffield "three-way" sex scandal. The agents found the tape during their search last...

ARREST IN CLASSMATE EXTORT BID

A Long Island high school student placed a fake kidnap call to his 15-year-old schoolmate's family and threatened to "shank" the boy if they didn't come up with $5,000 ransom,...

ROCK AND RULE - 'SONGWRITING' JUDGE MOVES BEATLE-DOC TRIAL

A Staten Island judge has ordered a lawsuit against the doctor who made a dying George Harrison sign a guitar moved out of the city - in a decision the...

STAR'S WHAM DUNK - NBA 'CLUB FIGHT' TAPE

The "extortion" tape three men allegedly used in a $3 million shakedown of NBA star Carmelo Anthony really exists - and it shows the ballplayer "severely beating" an adversary at...

KILLER 'CRACKHEAD' CHAMBERS CHARGED

Robert Chambers, bleary-eyed and unshaven after a night in the slammer, was arraigned on a crack-cocaine-possession charge yesterday in Manhattan Criminal Court. The notorious Preppy Killer - who was released...

DAD SLAYS 2 KIDS IN RAMPAGE: COPS - GUN JAM SAVES EX IN HARLEM SHOOTING

A deranged man, enraged at not seeing enough of his kids, shot his baby daughter to death in her high chair and killed his autistic son yesterday after storming into...

I FORGOT TO PAY FINE, BUT THAT COKE ISN'T MINE, SAYS ROBERT

ROBERT CHAMBERS admits he was driving with a suspended license when he was busted by cops - but insists he knows nothing about the drug residue police say they found...

TURKEY VICTIM'S POIGNANT HOLIDAY

The Long Island woman who was almost killed by a turkey-slinging gang of teenagers will spend Thanksgiving in the hospital with her family - but she still doesn't know what...

THE GALL-$TAR - 'PRINCESS' SUES AMEX FOR LETTING HER SPEND

Stop me before I shop again! Pretend princess Antoinette Millard is showing some real gall: She's suing American Express for $2 million for allowing her to go on a nearly...

TRAGIC HERO COP - DIES AFTER ROOF PLUNGE WHILE CHASING SUSPECT

A veteran police officer, a "cop's cop" who was set to marry a fellow officer, died yesterday from injuries suffered when he fell off a roof of a Brooklyn building...

'ZONA DENIES MICHIGAN REPEAT IN OT

OVERTIME: Arizona 61 - Michigan 60 No team has won consecutive post- and pre-season NIT Tournaments, and last night at the Garden the No. 17 Arizona Wildcats made sure that...

LET T.O. KNOW SCORE - GIANTS' ALLEN READY TO DANCE WITH OWENS

It's allowed. Will Allen knows he's allowed to intercept a pass or scoop up a fumble and sprint in for a defensive touchdown. He's never accomplished that feat in the...

KITTLES SEES NETS IN RUINS - . . . BUT LIKELY WILL MISS TONIGHT

LOS ANGELES - Kerry Kittles is the Nets' second all-time leading scorer. He's second in steals, field goals made and minutes played. And yet all the Nets got for him...

KNICKS IN GROOVE - WILKENS' GANG SEES BETTER RETURNS AHEAD

TORONTO - Jeff Van Gundy can be blamed for expediting the firing of former coach Don Chaney when he showed no mercy in blowing out the Knicks at the Garden...

FRANK HAS NETS ZONE IN

NET NOTES LOS ANGELES - For three years, the Nets' story line was pretty much the same. See a team race like greyhounds. Blink and miss four points. Watch as...

CHAD PASSES TEST - JETS QUARTERBACK MAKING PROGRESS IN COMEBACK BID

They were baby steps, but significant nonetheless. There was Chad Pennington yesterday lofting 25-yard passes to his receivers, tossing some 15- to 20-yard slant, hitch and hook routes, and doing...

'BWANA' LOOKS WORTH WEIGHT

Traditions, even antiquated ones, die hard in thoroughbred racing, and one of them will be on display early this afternoon when Aqueduct runs its Thanksgiving Day feature, the Grade 3,...

ELI LOOKING TO BURN BIRDS' BLITZ

GIANT NOTES One of the many missing ingredients in the Giants offense is the big play, and with the Eagles coming to town on Sunday, this would not seem to...

FAMILY TRAGEDIES TORMENT TIM THOMAS

TORONTO - The Garden boos don't hurt Tim Thomas. He's been through too much during a summer of family tragedy. Within a span of three days in August, his sister...

UNIT DEAL TALL ORDER

When the Yankees and Diamondbacks get serious about bringing Randy Johnson from Phoenix to The Bronx, they will find a few more stumbling blocks than the money left on Javier...

NEW KNICK'S FIRST BASKET IS 'EXCITING'

KNICK NOTES TORONTO - Jamison Brewer got to see the dunk on a highlight show. "It's just two points, but it was exciting," he said. Brewer's Knick debut and first...

KENDALL STARING AT 'FIRING' SQUAD

JET NOTES For at least one Jets player, Sunday's game against the Cardinals in Arizona will be an emotionally-charged 60 minutes of football. In a perfect world, Jets' right guard...

PETERSON VOTES FOR LEITER RETURN

Rick Peterson's clout is about to be put to the test. Peterson, considered the Mets' "pitching CEO" by team officials, told The Post yesterday that he strongly recommended bringing back...

'WAKE'-UP CALL - DEMON DEACONS SAVORING 1ST TRIP TO NO. 1 RANKING

This didn't happen when Tim Duncan played at Wake Forest. It didn't happen when Muggsy Bogues played there. It hasn't happened in 99 years. For the first time in history,...

LIONS (3-0) JUST KEEP ON ROARIN'

Columbia 53 - LIU 49 Not one player on the team was alive the last time the Columbia Lions had a start like this. Not since the 1979-80 season had...

KNICKS GET SLAMMED - CARTER'S WINDMILL DUNK POWERS RAPTORS IN ROUT

Raptors 114 - Knicks 91 TORONTO - Vince Carter hasn't had much to laugh about this season. That's because the Knicks hadn't hit town before last night. With one furious...

LENNY & CO. BRINGING OUT VINCE'S BEST

KNICK NOTES TORONTO - Vince Carter not only wants to play for the Knicks, he also wants to do well every time he faces them. That's how it seems anyway....

WAKE 1-DERFUL - TOP-RATED DEACONS POUND PROVIDENCE IN TOURNEY OPENER

W. Forest 79 - Providence 67 Wake Forest coach Skip Prosser is well-acquainted with the perils of the polls. As head coach at Xavier, his Musketeers twice upset crosstown rival...

WAKE 1-DERFUL - TOP-RATED DEACONS POUND PROVIDENCE

Wake Forest 79 - Providence 67 Wake Forest coach Skip Prosser is well-acquainted with the perils of the polls. As head coach at Xavier, his Musketeers twice upset crosstown rival...